The Bruins have purchased, received their license and driven the black and gold struggle bus into a barber pole striped wall. They now see themselves on the outside looking into the NHL playoffs as the Ottawa Senators strap on their rocket skates and zoom into 8th place. With nine games left on the schedule, Bruins fans have turned to the most insane, idiotic premise I think I’ve ever heard:
Tanking.
I am not sure where the idea of the Bruins “tanking” came from but I seriously hope it was in jest. Last night I was at home preparing dinner and listening to Felger and Mazz as I normally do. Listen, I like their show. Mike Felger is sort of a sports radio icon to me because he’s such a negative but fairly accurate guy. I like what he brings to the table in terms of entertainment. Yesterday they brought up the topic of the Bruins tanking and were all for it.
Tanking.
Losing the last nine games.
Even before that show, the Twitter machine was abuzz with people thinking the Bruins should “tank”. They were running their TSN lottery simulator and after 50 tries and the Bruins landing first they would tweet “SEE!” and attach a picture without a hint of delicious sarcasm. It is fucking mind boggling.
You can’t tank with nine games left!
The Buffalo Sabres have spent most of this decade setting up to tank for this season. There are people in relationships that hope and pray and put up shitty filtered Instagram pictures wishing for the type of devotion from their partner that the Sabres put towards tanking. They sent good players away for draft picks and cap space with a clear aim at grabbing the number one or number two spot in this year’s NHL Entry Draft.
They are tanking and they have been since Milan Lucic ran over Ryan Miller they realized they would never contend for a Cup. If the Bruins were to finish the year in 18th place (where they are currently standing) they would have a 2% chance of winning the lottery. Here’s the thing with the NHL lottery: It is first or bust this year. If Boston doesn’t land #1, they stay at 14.
With a 2% chance to land the first pick, why would you bother tanking games? The Bruins have drafted fairly well in recent years in the 20’s (Subban, Pastrnak) and with ‘The Adequate One’ Keith Gretzky running the scouting helm, it could be better. The 2015 draft class has been labeled as “extra deep” which means you can get a good player in the 20’s.
I’m not going to sit here and advocate that the Bruins can get into the playoffs and make a run but I sure as shit am not advocating for them to throw games away for a higher chance at the #1 draft pick. If the Bruins really wanted to tank, they would have sold at the deadline instead of doing nothing. Carl Soderberg would have gotten Peter Chiarelli a golden helicopter based on some of the trades that were made.
Stop bring up tank talk. You have a brain, please use it.
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