Hi Kids, Welcome to BMR 101

It’s getting close to the beginning of school, which coincides nicely with my new role here. Mostly, the first day of school is a waste of time in which syllabuses are passed out, and then you go around the room and introduce yourself, give one fact about yourself and then have the teacher prattle on, breaking all the rules and telling many more than one fact about him or herself. Well guess what? We’re going to do the exact same thing, except without syllabuses and I’m the teacher.
First off, my name is Ryan Henning, and after a long, arduous negotiation (like 2 e-mails), I agreed to come aboard and bring my own unique brand of poorly edited humor to BMR. It was big news in Canada.
Here’s the bare bone facts. I was born and raised in Minnesota, went to school in Indiana and now work in Minneapolis as a meteorologist, but not the TV kind, because nobody wants the weather guy to be better looking than the anchor. And I sort of stutter. Before that, I was a referee and worked at the Home Depot. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you hate me, yell all you want, and I’ll probably just chuckle politely at your vitriol. “How could I possibly fit that up my ass?”
So anyways, you may have read my work here before, or quite possibly at the Victoria Times, named, of course, after my favorite English Queen hometown. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of not making any enemies, except for one sorry incident when I pissed off the entire state of Oregon. I don’t know how Kevin feels about Oregon, but there can’t be that much adoration between the two, since he brought me on.
As for the hockey. Well, Minnesota is named the “State of Hockey” and as such, I’ve been surrounded by it my whole life. My head has been the same size my whole life, which made standing upright on skates very difficult as a youngster, so I never got into the game as a player, but I was able to follow my more proportionate brother, my state championship high school team, and the pro team when we had one. We even had a Stanley Cup playoff series in 91, but it didn’t go so good, thanks to some assholes from Pittsburgh.
So, that’s me. I’ll be poking around in the comments, seeking your adulation today, so if you have any questions or comments, or would like to call me a Norwegian bastard or something, I’m all ears. And of course, I’ll see you next Thursday.

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