It’s been a relatively slow winter since the CBA slowed an already weak free agent market and only the White Sox are helping to move the trade wire, which has left my baseball mind to wander. I try to fill the void with MLB Network and endless baseball movies. Which led me to wonder about building a team using only baseball movie characters.
Center Field – Wille Mays Hayes, Cleveland Indians – (Major League)
Very easy choice. He was a total unknown but that speed and defense are invaluable. I don’t even mind if he chooses to hit a few long balls now and then. If he’s going to stand and admire them like he did in Major League II, he needs to improve his bat flip. But pretty much a no brainer choice. Although, Bobby Rayburn was an MVP Candidate in The Fan and I’m sort of afraid Robert DeNiro might come chase me down for this disrespect of Rayburn.
Others considered: Rayburn (The Fan), Davis Birch (For Love of the Game)
Right Field – Roy Hobbs, New York Knights – (The Natural)
Cerrano could have played right field or Kelly Leak, but Leak smoked too much for me to force Hobbs to DH. Despite the age, Hobbs proved to have a good moral compass and the penchant for perseverance and the big hit. He’s the best option in right and his bat more than makes up for any defensive issues because of his age and injury history.
Third Base – Ray Mitchell, California Angels – (Angels In the Outfield)
This was actually a pretty easy call despite what I thought going into building this roster. Mitchell was the best player on a team that stunk without outside forces of nature and he didn’t need extra help to be good. He was a gold glove caliber third sacker with the bat to match. The only other option was overpriced Roger Dorn.
First Base – Lou Collins, Minnesota Twins – (Little Big League)
This is a no-brainer. Collins is a sweet swinging lefty who hit for power and average and could really pick it at first. Plus he’s great in the locker room. He was one of the few who didn’t rebel against a pre-teen manager.
Left Field – Rex “T-Rex” Pennebaker, Milwaukee Brewers – (Mr. 3000)
This was a tough choice as well and even though T-Rex was a diva, he was a masher. With veterans like Sinski, Collins on the team, they should be able to handle Pennebaker’s attitude. Pedro Cerrano was an option but the issues hitting the breaking ball were just too significant to take over Pennebaker.
Others considered: Cerrano (Major League) Stan Ross (Mr. 3000), Taka Tanaka (Major League)
DH – Davis Birch, Detroit Tigers/New York Yankees – (For Love of the Game)
Davis is probably too good of a center fielder to be wasted at DH, but rather than go with a pure DH type here, I went with a player that could also play a position and other guys could DH to get semi-rest. That would be the most flexible and sensible roster. He could play right field and Hobbe could rest his old legs as a DH and still keep hitting. The only other options I could think of to be a more “pure” DH were guys like Parkman, Billy “Downtown” Anderson (Major League: Back to the Minors) (I’m too reluctant to put someone from that movie on this roster), Clu Heywood (Major League) Cerrano or Heddo (Rookie of the Year). Birch was a five tool player and perfectly fit this compliment of outfielders.
Shortstop – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez, Los Angeles Dodgers – (The Sandlot)
I know I didn’t take Dominguez because he was a college player and Jet was a kid but he eventually made it to the big leagues and stole home! He had speed, athleticism and charisma. He was clever enough to outsmart a smart dog and he even knows Babe Ruth. Easy choice.
Second Base – Mickey Scales, Minnesota Twins – (Little Big League)
There weren’t many options here. Technically, Carlos Baerga starred as himself in the movie, but that would have been cheating. Billy Heywood had a lot of confidence in the young keystone who had a decent glove and good gap power. As long as we’re not expecting him to hit atop the lineup, he’s a solid role player. The only other option was Mickey Dominguez from Summer Catch but he was technically a college player and the biggest score he had in that movie wasn’t on the field.
Catcher – Gus Sinski, Detroit Tigers – (For Love of the Game)
There were a lot of good,veteran options to go with. There was only one, solid bat first catcher in this spot but I feel like Sinski was probably underappreciated in his time. Billy Chapel really trusted him as a great gamer caller with the ability to manage situations. His defense was the only reason he was probably playable with Chapel and Jake Taylor might have had the better bat, but with the age of pitch framing, Sinski probably had hidden value in this time.
Others considered: Taylor, Jack Parkman (Major League II), Crash Davis (Bull Durham)
Starting rotation
Ace – Steve Nebraska, New York Yankees – (The Scout)
There were few ways to go with this. But Nebraska throws 100 and can hit like Madison Bumgarner, so if he’s not pitching Game 7 of the World Series, he can pitch hit instead of having to use someone like Michael Martinez. The anxiety issues could cause him to pull a Rick Ankiel but with a good support system, he’s as talented as any top of the rotation pitcher you’d want.
#2 – Billy Chapel, Detroit Tigers – (For Love of the Game)
I didn’t feel comfortable putting Chapel as the ace because of his age and injury history. But given his experience and stuff at his age, he’s still got enough left in the tank to be your second best starter. The rest of the rotation behind him might need to be a little better in case durability becomes an issue, but, Chapel justifies having Sinski start.
#3 – Mike McGrevey, Minnesota Twins -(Little Big League)
There’s no shortage of good rotation options from guys with great velocity and big time credentials, but McGrevey is an ace in a contract year, so he wants to cash in. Sure, he needs a little motivation and is a bit of a diva, but that breaking ball is plus-plus. Perfect middle rotation option. Plus, behind Chapel, he’s a little more of a reliable option that the rest of the rotation.
#4 – Nooke LaLoosh, Durham Bulls – (Bull Durham)
When LaLoosh listens and doesn’t piss off his catcher, he’s a potential ace. Given his command issues, he’s still too much of a risk to have at the front of the rotation despite his upside. Aside from Nebraska, this rotation lacks a big fastball pitcher and I think Sinski is enough of a calming presence behind the plate to help bring the best out in LaLoosh even if he’s not as much of a tough guy as Davis.
#5 – Henry Rowengartner, Chicago Cubs – (Rookie of the Year)
I didn’t want to put a Cub in the rotation but the options were a little sparse. Chet Steadman (Rookie of the Year) is injury prone. Ditto for Mel Clark (Angels in the Outfield). Eddie Harris (Major League) was a great junkballer but was also older. Rowengartner was just as big an injury risk as Steadman and Clark, but at 12 years old, at least he had a ton of upside where the next injury of the former two would be career enders. Rosenbagger doesn’t need much else to go with his fastball as long as he’s healthy plus if he has to hit, he’ll most likely get walked. Big fastball and a great OBP!
Bench
C – Crash Davis – More bat than Jake Taylor plus might need him to deal with LaLoosh.
INF – Kelly Leak – I can put up with the smoking on the bench as long as he manages to not pull any bench shenanigans. Plus he’s extremely versatile.
3B – Roger Dorn – Because every team needs one overpriced free agent. At least Dorn could be the resident Brandon Guyer and take one for the team now and again and accidentally play a decent third base a time or two.
OF – Pedro Cerrano – Instant offense plus he might be able to help you get out of the doghouse with the baseball gods.
PH – Stan Ross – Even if he’s a little out of touch (and shape) giving a bench role to a younger guy and expecting him to be able to come through with a hit when he’s not used for a week is tough. Ross should be able to handle that (RIP Bernie Mac)
Bullpen
Closer – Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn, Cleveland Indians – (Major League)
Control issues keep him from being a reliable starter but that 100mph fastball and attitude make him a great back end reliever. Plus the coolest walkout song ever
Setup man – Jim Bowers, Minnesota Twins – (Little Big League)
Bowers is so overlooked but he’s got pretty good stuff plus he’s smart and calm and collected enough to handle high leverage situations. If you need someone to sell the hidden ball trick in a one-game playoff, is there anyone else you can trust?
Left handed reliever – Ryan Dunne, Chatham A’s – (Summer Catch)
Yes, Dunne is a college reliever, but as we’ve seen, left handed relievers out of college can move through the minors fast and he’s the best left handed relief option to take from the pick. He’s got some focus issues to work on too but at least he’d probably have the best WAG of the roster.
Middle relief: Kenny Denunez, “The Heaters” – (The Sandlot)
Denunez made it to Triple-A ball and obviously had a good fastball. Without much possible upside, at least that big fastball gives him a shot to be serviceable middle reliever or in mop up duty.
Long reliever – Hog Ellis, Salt Lake Bees (Minnesota Twins) – (Major League: Back to the Minors)
I know I said I didn’t want anyone from that horrible last memory from the Major League franchise, but the other options at this spot were Steadman, Clark or Harris or Doc. At least Ellis is healthy, has upside, could spot start for Rowengartner or Chapel if an injury arises and has shown the capacity to learn two pitches and get hitters like Carlos Liston out without needing to put Vagisil on the ball.
Extra relief – Chet Steadman, Chicago Cubs – (Rookie of the Year)
Steadman is too much of an injury risk to give a significant role too, but there’s always the chance he can give you something unexpected. Plus, he’s a great mentor to have on the pitching staff and with kids like Rowengartner, Ellis, LaLoosh, Denunez and Dunne on this roster, a willing veteran voice on the 25 man roster could be a big boost.
Manager – Jimmy Dugan, Rockford Peaches – (A League of Their Own)
Dugan was a great player in his time, was a take no bull kind of manager who also had a sensitive side. He was stubborn as heck but eventually came around.
Bench Coach – George Knox, California Angels – (Angels in the Outfield)
My first choice was to go with Heywood here since he could keep it light on the bench, but we know much Dugan liked kids. At least Knox might be convinced by someone that the team has Angels working for it and he could get the team to believe if they really sucked.
Pitching coach – Phil Brickma, Chicago Cubs – (Rookie of the Year)
Brickma was an innovator before his time. HOT. ICE! He’d be able to keep those injury risk pitchers on this staff healthy with his scientific breakthroughs.
Hitting coach – Jake Taylor, Cleveland Indians – (Major League)
Taylor wasn’t thrilled about being the third catcher and wasn’t thrilled about being a manager. I’m not sure how he’d do as the hitting coach but having him as the hitting coach could allow him to help with Davis and Sinski, especially if one gets hurt – he could come out of retirement!
First base Coach – Lou Brown, Cleveland Indians – (Major League)
Brown (RIP James Gammon) might be a little too old and I don’t give a crap to coach a base, but he’s savvy and would be fun to chat with over there.
Third base coach – Billy Heywood, Minnesota Twins – (Little Big League)
Perfect for third base. Great at relaying signals and reading stuff in the field. Enthusiasm probably gives him a great go sign plus it keeps him out of Dugan’s hair half an inning.
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