How NHL Reallignment should work

I know I promised some baseball content this week, but for heavens sake, there isn’t anything for me to gripe about. As much as I may want to lambast the Twins for only getting Jeff Cirillo, Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz, I really can’t. If you dig through the archives, you’ll see that I recommended a utility infielder and a veteran pitcher to eat up innings. That’s what they did! How can I complain? They’re just saving up for the next couple years, when Minnesota will need to sell Anoka County in order to keep the roster intact.
In any event, the NHL is the feature professional sport in my life right now, and there are plenty of interesting subplots. First, it’s nearly the trading deadline, and the trading season is in full swing. Sure, the Ference’s the traditional first to be traded, haven’t been dealt yet (that’s soon to come) but another trade bait favorite Andy Delmore has changed addresses (Tampa to Atlanta) and Josef Vasicek had his annual trade back to Carolina. I don’t know why the Canes dont just sign him to a long term deal. Also, there is the whole debate on whether or not the NHL should return to balanced scheduling. They should, of course, but after next season, so the entire cycle can expire. Lastly, Gary Bettman has been spouting off about some reallignment plans for the NHL. This is what I want to talk about. How should the new divisions work out?
Well, first, let’s point out the fact that some teams simply need to be moved. It’s that simple. So let’s first move some teams, shall we? Top of that list is Florida, a bad team that traditionally doesn’t attract many fans and fails to incite interest. We’ll plop them in Quebec City, the largest town in Canada without a team. Next, it’s only right to return the Coyotes to their rightful owners in Winnepeg. Hartford doesn’t deserve a team, but neither does Raleigh. The Hurricanes are moved to London, Ontario. The Thrashers are greatly improved this season. Atlanta isn’t a sports town, much less for hockey, so they get moved to Halifax. Tampa Bay is our last team to move to Canada. I’m most reluctant to move them, because, of the southern teams that aren’t Dallas, they are the most successful. But that’s really a left handed compliment. They can worry about things later as the Saskatchewan Lighting (playing in Saskatoon). I’d like to see California reduced to one team, probably the Ducks or Kings, which means that the other two get moved to more hockey crazed parts of the world, like Wisconsin and North Dakota. They proved that they have benefactors willing to pay for hockey in Grand Forks, and I can’t imagine it would be any different in Fargo.
So those are our new teams. Let’s look at some new divisions. Of course, these are hypothetical, and I’m open to suggestion.
Out East, we would have a new mid-Atlantic division, featuring Washington, Nashville (who keeps their team because I think there is interest they can still drum up, especially from places like Huntsville), Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Buffalo. The New England division would play host to New Jersey, the New York City teams, Boston and the relocated Thrashers from Halifax. The last Eastern Conference division is the Eastern Canada division, which will host the Quebec Panthers, Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa and the London Hurricanes, which should probably be renamed.
The Western Division got really interesting. It was difficult to set up divisions that made sense geographically, but here’s what I got. The Great Lakes division would feature Detroit, Columbus, Chicago, St. Louis and the Wisconsin Ducks. The Rocky Mountain Division would be the largest in the league, geographically, hosting Minnesota, the North Dakota Sharks, Dallas, Colorado and Los Angeles. That leaves my new favorite fictional divisionm the Canadian Plains division, hosting the Winnepeg Jets, nee Coyotes, the Saskatchewan Lightning, Edmonton, Calgary and Vancouver.
The reason that hockey is struggling to reemerge is because the NHL is working too hard to establish itself in markets that have never been hockey hotbeds. Why not give it back to Canada? Why not make Sidney Crosby take road trips to Fargo and Saskatoon? As always, let me know what you think with your comments.