How to beat… the 76’ers

Is everyone ok? Did you all survive the Celtics’ crash back to earth? Good.

Last week’s success quickly turned into a pair of awful failures at the hands of the Nets and Hawks. There’s no need to rehash those losses here (go cry in the recap comments if you must). Today we’re moving on and trying to avoid the absolute worst loss of the season… becoming the Sixers’ first win.

No one wants to be the first notch in Philly’s win column at this point… and Lord help the Celtics if they drop their third straight to this embarrassment of a franchise.

I don’t care what the date is. This is a must-win game. Here’s how they do it.

1: Attack their guards

For all their shittiness, the Sixers have a couple of good players on the front line in Jahlil Okafor and Nerlens Noel. Their guards, however, are terrible.

So I’ll say this again, even though you guys are probably sick of hearing it… You do this by starting Evan Turner and Avery Bradley. Attack their weakness with your biggest strength… your perimeter defense. Also take advantage of the ever-present Turner revenge factor against Philly, and you force Philly into a ton of turnovers early and you never look back. Then let Thomas go apeshit against a bench that is significantly worse than its terrible starting lineup. Bonus: Thomas doesn’t have to deal with shot blockers at the rim.

This is simple. And no, it might not matter against Philly, but I’d rather not find out. Start Turner and Bradley, force turnovers, get a lead, and then get Thomas his groove back with a 30 point game off the bench.

2: Double team Okafor

This kid’s going to be a star. He’s got some great moves on the post, and left alone, he’ll do some damage. Jared Sullinger can body him a bit, but there’s no reason to let Okafor go crazy. Throw double teams at him from every angle. There’s no one on this team that scares me enough to stick with… so the Celtics can be free to vary the approach. Maybe someday Okafor will learn to deal with this, but he can’t right now, and it will lead to turnovers.

3: Keep RJ Hunter going

I’m sneaking this in there not so much as a key to beating Philly… if I’m completely honest, points 1 and 2 should be quite enough… but since we’re here on a day after he had a nice offensive game, let’s see if we can get this kid some more looks and some more confidence. If he can become another weapon to space the floor, let’s foster that development and give him some time against a bad team.

4: FOR CHRIST’S SAKE PLAY HARD!

Enough is enough. There’s not much analysis needed here. The Celtics are a good team when they play together. But if they do anything short of come out with a chip on their collective shoulders, this will be an annoyingly close game.

I’ll admit… there’s a tiny part of me that wants to see how pissed off Brad Stevens can get, but I don’t want to see it this way. Just do these few things and send the Sixers into their hidey hole early.