We’ve all experienced that one parent on the sideline of your seventh grade soccer game; the one who screams a little bit louder than the other parents, the one who makes snide comments under their breath about the other team’s players, and the one that always seems to think that an “open and honest conversation” with the referee from the sidelines is the best way to confront a bad call, clearly forgetting that this is actually a recreational soccer league for middle schoolers, not the MLS.
All parents want their kids to succeed, but where do we draw the line? Nowadays, we see an increasing amount of pressure to turnout child sports prodigies, whether it be through private basketball lessons, or premier leagues for 5-year-olds, but when did youth sports leagues lose their innocence?
All too often we see parents and coaches pushing their kids and players too hard, resulting in the loss of love for sports. In a way, parents could even be preventing your child from becoming the next Russell Wilson by emphasizing winning over fun. Burnout is now extremely common among youth athletes, as scholarships are being withdrawn due to injury, or even inappropriate ways of dealing with the stress that comes with being a youth athlete star. Intense training regimes and weightlifting programs for kids who have yet to hit puberty take, not just physical, but mental effects on child athletes. How can these children even begin to cope with the kinds of stress that older athletes are able to deal with properly? The pressure to perform has taken a toll on American youth athletes, as the number of sports related injuries have skyrocketed in the past few decades.
Your sixth grader will most likely not get a college scholarship offer from year-round specialization in a particular sport. Instead, parents need to focus on encouraging positive sportsmanship and the overall excitement of learning a sport. As my soccer coach of 7 years always said (after losing OR winning a game), “the score is fun to fun”. This is the attitude that parents should be inscribing in their kids. Everyone wants to nurture the next LeBron James or Alex Rodriguez, but instead of putting your child into an intense competitive sports program before they finish elementary school, parents should try to pay more attention to what their kids show interest in. Let’s go back to riding our bikes around the neighborhood, playing pick-up games of capture the flag, or maybe enrolling in a tee-ball little league. Nowadays, it seems that your kid is either completely absent from the sports community, or is in All-Star leagues with daily practices.
So to answer my first question: Where does one draw the line? There is no definite answer; every child is different. However, it is important to keep an eye out for any signs that show your child is beginning to see the sport as more of an obligation instead of hobby. Pay attention. Instead of stressing out your kid with intense performance evaluations, or even consequences for not playing an excellent game, focus on stressing the importance of healthy living, positive relationships with teammates, and finally what is all boils down to: fun.
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