I Have No Famous Friends

I saw a thread on another message board that got me thinking.  This Wolves rube walked into the MOA Apple Store, and saw Corey Brewer and Chris Richard there.  So after reading his story, I started to remember some encounters I’ve had with famous people…and all of them were awkward.

A while ago, when I was just a young lad, I was hanging out at the CCO booth at the State Fair, watching the Sports Huddle broadcast live.  During a commercial break, Sid Hartman walked up to me, patted me on the head, and handed me a Goldy Gopher action figure. 

He then asked me if I’ve ever been to a Turkish prison, and inquired if I liked movies about gladiators.

Or not.

A few years later, I saw Sidney again at the fair…this time, it was at the Star Tribune booth.  The poor guy was doing an appearance, but he was all alone.  I felt bad for him…he was just sitting there, reading the sports pages.

So I walked up to him, and it was immediately clear that he just wanted to be left alone.  I asked him what he predicted for the upcoming Vikings season…"I don’t make predictions anymore," he snapped.  So I said I admired his work, he grunted at me, and I walked away uncomfortably.  

I had yet another awkward meeting with Sid last year at the fair.  He was doing a book signing, so I purchased a copy of his book, and got in line for him to sign it.  After he signed my book, I said, "Thanks, buddy." 

He didn’t seem to enjoy being called "buddy" by someone 1/5 his age.

Recently, I was hanging out at Target Center after a Wolves game for a post-game event, and Tom Hanneman walked by.  I said hello, and to my surprise he stopped to talk to me. 

One problem…I immediately noticed that he has an unusually large noggin. 

So during this conversation, I was completely fixated on Hanny’s beach ball-sized head, surprised that a human could have such a huge skull.

I really did look like an idiot.  He was just being a cool guy, talking to someone who enjoys his announcing…while I was standing there like a dope, fascinated at his bobblehead-like appearance.

One more: As a Wolves season ticket holder, I was invited to a question-and-answer session with Kevin McHale and Dwane Casey.  I’d been constantly ripping McHale on my blog…but I’d soon discover that it’s a lot easier to be a tough guy on the internets than in person.

There I was, someone who absolutely hated McHale’s work with the Timberwolves, and I had a chance to ask him some tough questions face-to-face.  But I completely lost my spine during the event.

I asked him something like, "So, what are your expectations for this season?" or some other meaningless question.  I just didn’t have the balls to criticize him to his face.  

So those are my stories of meeting famous people…maybe some day I’ll meet a famous person and actually look cool. 

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