Today is the beginning of the most hellish weeks in a sports fan’s life. It’s the time of the dreaded “My Wish” segments on Sportscenter. Don’t get me wrong, I love that teams are charitable and give these kids who are going through so much such a great day. What I hate is watching it. I want to watch ESPN for the highlights and scores and vigorous competition, I don’t want to see those frail but lovable children trying their hardest as a bunch of big tough athletes open up their hearts and their worlds and let these sweet cherubs in, if only for a day, to have a good time and take their mind off the world.
Excuse me, I have a little dust in my eye.
Naturally, since for ESPN this is a money making, scratching their own back type of thing, they don’t have any hockey players or teams featured. Well, I thought I might go ahead and give them some ideas.
– Hockey blogger Ryan “The Enforcer” Henning is racked by guilt and shame. Why? He cannot skate, and he writes about hockey! His home town team, the Minnesota Wild takes him to a local outdoor rink in late May to teach him how to skate.
– Kevin Schultz wants desperately to have a winning team in Long Island. The Islanders laugh, but give him a huge, wall sized poster with this image on it.
– Loser Domi, from a lonely town in rural New England gets taken on a tour of Toronto by by Phil Kessel, Luca Caputi and other players she has never heard of and shown amazing sites, like a McDonalds, a stoplight and prostitutes.
– The Detroit Red Wings give another chance to a 40 year old forward whose best years are long behind him. Long, long, long behind him. Oh wait, that one might actually happen.
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