Insert Angry Title About Brett Favre

Before we get into dissecting the latest whore words out of whore mouth Favre, I wanted to share a little insight into my reaction to writing about his latest statements that were shared via the Star Tribune and USA Today from an interview with Men’s Journal (Hitting news stands Friday!). By now, I’m sure most of you have read the small excerpts and have scowled at them, remembering how much you loathe this graying chubby tummy old man.

However. I was startled to realize that we pretty much have felt exactly the same thing throughout his entire tenure as a Vikings. BAH?!? REALLY?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?! Well read on, and we’ll share this titillating revelation together!

Back story for those just waking up from a drinking binge and have yet to hear anything Favre related for the last week. The Star Tribune posted a couple of interesting niblets from an interview that some guy that sounds like a creep did with Brett Favre recently which will be published in Men’s Journal and released this Friday. In it, Favre is rather candid talking about coming to Minnesota, the Saints game, and the perception of his career in the national media. As we occasionally tend to do here, poorly, we are going to break down his comments Fire Joe Morgan style and by the end, perhaps, you’ll see just how similar even YOU may be to Favre in your shared trepidation. So without further waffling (that’s a Favre joke) …

Favre talked about the fun he had last season, which was arguably the best of his career.

Ok, no issue with this. Looking at his career stats you can see that 2009 was in fact his best year for completion percentage, third best in total yards, least interceptions thrown during a full year of starting, and all spades in total touchdowns thrown. Not bad for an AARP member. BOOM! ROASTED YOU OLD FUCK!

He threw 33 touchdown passes and only seven interceptions. “I’ve had games when I almost threw seven picks,” Favre told Rodrick, laughing.

Whoa, you think that’s funny? I bet so many Wisconsin people would love to fondue your brain right now. Also? Seven interceptions in a game is fucking TERRIBLE. It’s Grossman-esque!

“It was unreal. Before last year, I’d reached a point where I was sitting in meetings with guys 15 years younger than me thinking, What the hell am I doing here?

I don’t know, making $15 Million dollars? Pretty sweet deal, I’d say.

Football became work. But last year it went back to being a game.”

Just being a kid out there, huh? Go fuck yourself. What else?

Favre’s agent Bus Cook was irate that Favre told ESPN’s Ed Werder about his ankle surgery this offseason.

I would be too. Why would anyone talk to Ed Werder? You a-hole, Favre, you’re making him look good.

Rodrick was present during a colorful exchange between the two. Rodrick also reports that Vikings coach Brad Childress called Cook to find out what was going on, unaware that Favre was going to have surgery. Cook tells Childress that Favre’s ankle surgery is minor and that it wouldn’t be a deciding factor in whether he played this season.

Ooooohhhhh, so this was all done to make Childress look like a mumbling dickhead? Haha! I can get down with that! You crazy old southern animal fucker! Good stuff! What else?

Favre talked in detail about the loss to the Saints in the NFC Championship game and his interception at the end of regulation when he forced a pass to Sidney Rice by throwing across the field.

“The previous week against the Cowboys, we did the same exact play to Rice,” Favre told Rodrick.

Wait, what? You’re going to run the exact same play that was all over coaches tape from a week ago on enemy territory as perhaps the biggest play in franchise history? WHAT THE HELL??

“We were up about 25 at the time, so it was different.

I KNOW. WHY DO IT DURING A TIED CHAMPIONSHIP GAME YOU UNCREATIVE LAZY GRAVE DIGGER??

[Rice] came back to me on a broken play, and we got 20 yards. This time, when I let it go, I’m thinking he’s going to come back to me. As he drifted farther and farther away, I could see the corner come in from the other side, and I’m thinking, Oh, [shoot].”

Oh, funny story you prick, that’s exactly what I was thinking as well! However, in addition to thinking “Oh, shit” I was also thinking “It’s amazing that after this entire season the whole fucking thing is going to blow up in our faces and end exactly as we all predicted months ago on a backbreaking Favre interception when we most assuredly didn’t need one. Our powers of foresight are ASTOUNDING!” Ass.

“There was just silence. I said, ‘Well, what are we gonna do?’ [Green Bay] made it pretty clear I wasn’t going to play there, and I said, ‘How about the Vikings or even the Lions?’ I wanted to stay in the same division. They said that wasn’t going to happen, but maybe Tampa. I said, ‘Fine, trade me to Tampa. I’ll whip your asses in week four.’ Maybe that was a mistake. I’m flying back to Hattiesburg thinking I’m going to the Bucs, and I get off the plane and Bus tell me I’ve been traded to the Jets. I said, ‘Bull,’ but they were smart; they released the news so I’d look like an ass if I backed out.”

Well, let’s be serious here Brett. Generally you DO look like an ass, but that was a pretty bullshit move by that snake McCarthy. Or Ted Thompson. Or whatever retard with a Fischer Price phone is calling the shots on that team. And about coming to the Vikings? Oh man, he was excited:

Favre said he had doubts about whether he was making the right decision when he joined the Vikings in mid-August last year and ended a retirement for the second straight year:

“I was driving into training camp and I’m saying, ‘God, what was I thinking.’ I thought, ‘This is a mistake.’ “

Glad to see you joined the club.

See, him and I, we aren’t that different. We both really dislike him being on the team, hate the Packers, and knew that his interception was the worst play in the history of back alley abortions. Maybe this means we can get along? Maybe this means that old hatchet wound can be buried and we can all enjoy the upcoming season, with a possible Super Bowl win?

Good fucking luck. Thanks for consistently being a jack off, Favre.

Good interview though. I appreciate candid comments!