Jauron is coaching for his Job…or is he?

Why Dick? Why can’t you just resign as the head coach of the Buffalo Bills? You’ve already made millions of dollars as an NFL coach. Everyone across the NFL coaching landscape loves you. All your coaching peers think you’re a class act. You could easily get a defensive coordinator job in the NFL and not have to stress out about having your lawn defaced or a billboard blocking your view of your neighbor’s house.

Rich Gannon thinks your a great person and an even better coach (sigh). Peter King loves you so much that he always awards you with the coach of the week in his Monday column whenever you win a game (which is like once every 2 months). Everyone loves Dick! Except the city of Buffalo.

You have to wonder if Jauron knows how much the city hates him and wants his ass fired. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many billboards go up or how many inept offensive performances we see. Jauron isn’t going any where, and he knows it.

We all know why Jauron is still in Buffalo. If Jauron is fired today, he’s owed 7.5 million dollars. Ralph ain’t buying that out. So if I know that, and you know that, and the dude whose raising money for billboards knows that, then so does Dick.

So if Dick knows he ain’t going anywhere, then how can we say he’s coaching for his job? Well, maybe he’s not.

Lets break it down a little bit. Lets say you’re working in sales and your boss tells you that you have to sell the most “blank” this year or your fired. Then your boss decides to take away your phone, computer, and office space. Then says you have to go on foot to sell your product, while everyone else has an assistant, high-speed Internet, and a company car at their disposal. What would you do? You’d tell your boss you can’t do the job without these tools and you would either quit or be fired.

Jauron’s tools were taken away in the offseason when his bosses (Bills management) decided to trade away their best tackle, draft a player that is 2 years away from making an impact, and fill the offensive line with players who have never played an NFL down. That was just in the spring! (Honorable mention: Keith Ellison is still your starting linebacker)

Fast forward to August and your bosses decide Langston Walker wasn’t the answer at LT. You (or Ralph) then fire your offensive coordinator and replace him with a guy who was broadcasting NFL games two years ago, with no offensive coordinating experience. Wouldn’t you think if your job was on the line, you would have tried to replace Turk with someone who at least has an all-pro quarterback on his resume? And what about your dam philosophy of having weak ass training camps? Wouldn’t you even consider changing it up because you have only one season above .500 for your career?

Now your regular season starts, and your offensive line and linebacking core looks like an ER unit. So what do your bosses do for you? “Oh, lets just bring in guys from other team’s practice squads and try to teach them how to play football on the fly.”

Now do really believe Dick Jauron is walking into Russ Brandon’s office and yelling that there’s no way he can win with these types of players? Don’t you think he would tell Terrell Owens that he can’t take Friday practices off?

Of course not, because Jauron has made a deal with the devil. He knows that he isn’t going anywhere and that he’s lucky as hell to be a head coach in the NFL. There’s no sense to rock the boat if he’s getting paid. Jauron would rather reign in Hell than serve in heaven. He’d rather not piss off his players by having intense workouts. 

Look, is my theory completely theoretical? Of course. Dick could be yelling at the top of his lungs asking for help. But I did some research and found a quote from Jauron’s Chicago days from one of his players. 

“He’s the type of leader you want to play for. In three years here I’ve only seen him really yell at a guy one time.” -Rosevelt Colvin, December 2001-

FYI, the two years prior to that quote, Jauron had a 11-21 record. So I doubt he’s yelling at anyone. 

All I know is Jauron hasn’t adjusted to anything coaching or personal wise if he supposedly is under the gun. Personally, I think Ralph Wilson and the Bills PR staff already have their prepared statement written (In Ralph’s treasure chest) for January 4th, 2010 (Day after season finale), for why they have decided to keep Jauron after going 4-12 or 5-11. I’m sure it will have to do with injuries and the team being so young.

Luckily for Dick, he doesn’t have to worry about the writing on the wall, because it’s already in his contract or his deal with the devil.