Hannah Storm: A great game last night between the Gators and Trojans!
Josh Elliott: But it’s silly that they played a bowl game instead of a playoff!
LATER…..
Hannah: Let’s go to this morning’s poll question! Was the Confederations Cup a turning point for US soccer?
Josh: What a stupid question! It’s so arbitrary!
Hannah: Uh, that’s whay it’s a poll, Josh.
Josh: But there is no right answer. What’s the point in asking fans to predict the future?! IT’S NOT EVEN AN OPINION QUESTION!
Hannah: All right. Well, let’s go to Blog Buzz….
AT HOME
Josh’s wife: I think we should go out for dinner tonight. How about Italian food?
Josh: How can you make a sweeping generalization about what our entire family wants to eat? How do you accommodate all the members of our family. Not everyone likes Italian food!
Wife: Ugh, I’m just going to make myself a Hot Pocket.
DRIVING
Officer:… and I’m giving you this ticket for speeding.
Josh: I know I was speeding. Everyone speeds. Giving me this ticket is completely asinine.
Officer: It’s upholding the law…
Josh!: NO IT’S NOT! Everyone is STILL GOING TO SPEED! What does this ticket accomplish? NOTHING!
(Note: Do not ever do a Google Image search for Josh Elliot. Ever.)
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