Low blow, I know. Hey, nobody thought we stood a chance last year and we damn-near pulled it off, so you really just never know…
I just finished up my lunch of almonds and Cougar Gold Cheese… Today marks day 15 of the South Beach Diet “Phase 1”. Phase 1 is where you eliminate almost all carbs from your diet. It lasts 2 weeks, so technically I could start phasing carbs back into my diet today; but since I’ve lost about 6 pounds I figured I’d hold off. Phase 2 kicks off tomorrow with a big-ass cheeseburger (no bun), a salad instead of fries … and about 18 Miller Lites.
No keys to victory or anything like that but here are three things I’d love to see happen tomorrow:
1) A Cougar Victory. (duh)
2) Stay Healthy. (Do you get the feeling that Dobes is treating Pitoitua like that 1972 Datsun with 200,000 miles on it that your mom and dad bought you in high school? “I know it’s not in perfect shape anymore, son; but it was free. Just drive it until the wheels fall off and maybe by that time you can afford that muscle car you want… Now, here’s $8. Get your fat ass in your piece of shit little car and drive down to Super Cuts – you look like a fag with that long hair.” I digress…
3) GET BETTER. You don’t learn lessons and improve by going up against inferior competition.
Queue the music! [‘Glory Days’ plays softly in the background…]
Back in 1987 (Good GOD! That was 20 years ago!?), a struggling young center for the Fightin’ Cougars of Bothell High was asked to stay after practice to “work on technique”. This is how it went: Center snaps ball into his taint; then gets blasted by not one, but two all-conference defensive tackles. And so it went for an entire week of practice. The first day or two were ugly but by the end of the week, the young center with the billowing mullett was holding his own. 
With our stable of stud receivers, we can only hope that Dobes and staff are putting our young DB’s through the same type of workout every week. (Although it should be noted that despite the rigorous week of practice, the Bothell Cougs lost a tooth-and-nail battle on the road that Friday night to a juggernaut Interlake team led by All-Staters and future Huskies Mike Lustyk and Kevin Kearney and Nebraska-bound wideout Jon Bostick. The final score: 50-20.)
The epilogue to this little story is that the young center – indeed, a young McBoob – eschewed a walk-on opportunity to play “at the next level” for Western Washington University – for the opportunity to sneak baggies full of booze into Martin Stadium on Cougar Football Saturdays. Now one day into his 37th year on the big blue marble, Hooty lacks the capacity to remember a four-item grocery list but can recall useless tales of high school football with uncanny accuracy.
Cougs 20 – USC 50
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