So, I have noticed to my trained blogging ear that there has been much whispering, silent nodding, and esoteric hand signalling of late about a trade opportunity between the Minnesota Vikings and the San Diego Chargers concerning a certain wide receiver, namely Vincent Jackson. For more than a week now, there’s been a lot of he-said, he-said, smoke and mirrors, unicorns and glitter, without any real answers. I just wanted to take a quick moment this afternoon to assuage any concerns people had about what may or may not be happening on this front. To start, I quite clearly laid out a couple of factual items concerning all parties that hopefully will offer some enlightenment:
– Vincent Jackson is most assuredly part French, a sprinkle of English, and 1,000% a choad licker. I do not know why the Vikings would want him.
There, I hope that has cleared up some of your questions. Yes, Vincent Jackson has emerged in recent years as a preeminent wide receiver in the National Football League who may have many years ahead of him. He is the sweet, tender age of 27 and is looking for a new contract. He was just awarded today a reduction on his game suspension that was dolled out by the NFL months ago for violating the leagues personal conduct policy, which was an appropriate suspension because of a PAIR of drunken driving arrests. Will Jaen take this Frog Eater under his wing and tell him about the pleasures of O’Douls? Has Jackson put these troubles behind him? Will he be pleased being no better than a third string wide receiver once Sidney Rice returns healthy? Because with, Harvin, Rice, Shanko, and even Purple Jesus on this team, I don’t see what good Jackson will serve this year – once he learns the offense by week 15 – or next – when our quarterack is a rookie, a veteran retread, or a wide receiver/quarterback.
Fuck Vincent Jackson. This trade is stupid.
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