Kentucky is the butt of many jokes- especially within the realm of the midwest. Kissing cousins, moonshiners, and general “redneckery” are among the many stereotypes given to those who hail from the bluegrass state.
It’s all a smokescreen for their true purpose in this country- to strip Notre Dame of as many scholarship players as possible that hail from the Great State of Florida. It’s a well known fact that Kentucky hates Florida, but they hate Notre Dame even more. Now, they have a plan to bring Notre Dame down while using their ancient enemy of Florida in the process. It took many years, but finally in this millennium, Kentucky is succeeding.
In 2008, ND WR Richard Jackson (Florida resident) transferred to Central Florida after Leonard Gordon (Kentuckian) soundly beat him 14 times in a row while playing Battleship. The 15th time included the stakes of “loser must transfer.” Of course, Gordon won for the 15th time in a row and Jackson left ND. Gordon cheated in all 15 games with a traitorous spotter, Luke Schmidt. Jasper Indiana is a hotbed of Kentucky sympathizers.
In 2010, ND CB Spencer Boyd (Florida resident) transferred to South Florida after only a few weeks on campus as an early enrollee. Why? Well, every morning when Boyd awoke, he was covered in pickles from head to toe. Who would be so devious? Brandon Newman (Kentuckian). Boyd hated pickles more than anything and Newman knew it. IT FREAKING KNEW IT MAN!
Now, Kentucky strikes yet again. Aaron Lynch (Florida resident) is not on campus and it’s all Tate Nichols’ (Kentuckian) fault. Yes, yes there was a fight at practice between the two players, but my sources have confirmed that there is much more happening. Apparently, Lynch has a stuffed animal toy that he has had since he was 3 years old. Nichols keeps stealing the toy and drops it off at various restaurants around South Bend. The only reason that Lynch keeps getting the toy returned is that the good citizens of South Bend have the good sense to send the toy back… there is a “Property of Aaron Lynch” tag on the toy.
Lynch finally had enough of the bullying and started hitting Nichols at practice. It was a perfectly conceived plan by Kentucky as Lynch is now in Ohio.
Fuck Kentucky. I’m just worried as to who is being targeted by Austin Collinswoth (KENTUCKIAN!). How can you trust a state that has both of these men as employees of the state…
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