Just a few weeks ago, Yahoo! linked to something I wrote in 2008 that triggered the craziest comment thread in the history of this site, including someone attributing a Voltaire quote to Peter Griffin. It was highly comedic. It’s funnier still when I, every once in a while, get a comment to show up on that thread again (as I did the other day).
I digress. The reason the link came my way was because of the fact that Nike was taking over the NFL uniforms in 2012. Michael Silver suspected that the Seahawks would end up looking like the Oregon Ducks. It was a joke, I think, because, well, he linked to something that explicitly stated that the the Ducks are annoying. This is the common consensus of reasonable, clear thinking adults. The gaudy, ever changing uniforms are unbearable and stupid.
But that’s the problem. The jerseys are shiny and new, and shiny and new always attracts stupid people, regardless of whether or not the shininess and newness of said object is useful or important. Oregon has seen a boon to their athletic department, because of a bunch of empty minded athletes who like the idea of glittery wings on their uniforms.
Think about the type of person that attracts. Not worried about tradition, education or even the program, just the fact that they get a shiny, new uniform every game. It attracts morons. If you disagree with me, I have Jeremiah Masoli and Lagarette Blount who disagree with you, just for a start. When they otherwise might have gone to Florida State, they saw a flicker in the distance that caught their eye, and they went to Oregon.
So, I want to boil it down for people from Oregon who might be reading, because they are probably offended: Your uniforms are stupid. Your stupid uniforms attract stupid people. Your university has been dumbed down. Congratulations on having a football team, though.
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