Last Man Standing Theory

Dear Loser in La,
The last man standing theory states the following: If a man is able to last longer than any other man at a bar, then he gets to take the last woman standing home for the evening. This theory has many examples to back it up. Also size, shape, hygiene, and looks don’t interfere with this theory at all. One example right off hand involves someone I personally know. We will call him Trad to hide his identity. Now, for a long while Trad would go out and always come home with, or stay with, a female. Everyone thought he was the man. When all he really was doing was utilizing the theory and all aspects possible. Trad would even go to happy hour, come home and drink, and then return to the bar at closing time to have and advantage over all the other men testing this theory. I encourage anyone that is having a “dry spell,” to test this theory and give feed back. It is kind of like luck of the draw as far as the looks of the female. What I have witnessed personally from Trad’s success is that the last women standing are not beauty queens. But hey you’re not alone!! Try it out and let me know Loser. Hope the best success to you in your next drunken endeavor. Use the theory, Live by the theory.
Advice Man

This picture is a prime example of what could happen when you follow this theory.