List of Joe: My 23 Bills predictions sure to go wrong

ORCHARD PARK, NY – DECEMBER 17: Fans of the Buffalo Bills sit with paper bags over their heads during a loss to the Denver Broncos on December 17, 2005 at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, New York. The Broncos defeated the Bills 28-17. (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

I did these a few years back. What I normally do is give you hot predictions for the season and when the season concludes, I come back to see how big of an expert I am. So, here goes!

1) Which teams will the Bills beat? Jets (twice), Dolphins, and Colts. Yeah, lets get it out of the gate that your boy here doesn’t think the Bills are going to do well this season. The offense is going to struggle and the back 7 on the defense is green as grass. I think the Bills are ultimately better than the Jets and should sweep them. I think Miami is always a split yearly. The Colts in Buffalo? I think outside of Luck, the Colts are a mess. Bills win in a squeaker.

2) Which teams will beat the Bills? Dolphins, Pats (Twice), Saints, Panthers, Bucs, Falcons, Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders, LA, Bengals. 4-12 is my prediction. The Bills have the 5th hardest schedule in the NFL and they play teams that have much better QBs than what they faced last year. The Bills defense will keep them in game early, but I feel they will just get too tired down the stretch of the season.

3) Who will be the Bills defensive MVP? Marcell Dareus. Maybe it is because I like when someone proves everyone wrong, but I think Dareus is going to be dominate this season. Talent wise, he’s probably the best player on this team. I think him being back in a 4-3 will help tremendously. I think 10 sacks is very achievable.

4) Who will be the Bills offensive MVP? LeSean McCoy. This isn’t hard. There’s no doubt he’s the most productive offensive player the Bills have since Sammy/Woods are gone. They are going to run him a ton and I think with the WR core being what they are, I see him being involved a lot in the passing game.

5) Who will lead the team in sacks? Jerry Hughes. Charles Johnson and Greg Hardy played DE in Carolina and always racked up sacks. I see Hughes being that edge rusher that will get 10-13 sacks. Remember, the Panthers have had the most sacks in the NFL since 2012 and I can see that being brought over with the DL talent the Bills have.

6) Who will lead the team in receptions? Charles Clay. I think Clay playing with Tyrod for the last 2 years will be a big factor when it comes to chemistry. Jordan Matthews has hardly practiced and Daz Jones is a rookie. I think having a familiar face will be the main reason why Clay will get probably 60 or so catches. Additionally, Dennison has always used the TE in his offenses.

7) Who will lead the team in receiving yards? Zay Jones. I feel since Tyrod’s best attribute is the deep ball and I still think the Bills will go deep on a occasion. I think Jones is the fastest of the WRs and has been in camp since the beginning. Look for 700-800 yards.

8) How many games will Nathan Peterman start? Three. Yeah, I feel the season will get away from the Bills and by December, the team will need a “spark” which is code for “we want to see our younger guys.” I think Peterman gets his turn in December.

9) Who will be the most improved player? Preston Brown. Aside from the coach speak for him having an excellent camp, he’s going back to the defense that he thrived in as a rookie. He’s also going into his contract year which means he wants to get paid. Brown has been kind of W/E the last two years, but I see him being more noticeable on Sundays.

10) Who will lead the team in TD receptions? Charles Clay. Someone has to catch TDs and I think Clay being a bigger target in the red zone will help. Of course, leading the team in catches=TDs. Clay was tied for the team lead in TD catches last year with 4 and I feel he will continue that.

11) Will McCoy have over 1,200 yards rushing? Yes. I’ve wavered on this a bit because of his age, but since TD Mike and Jonathan Williams are gone, I think the change of pace setting they used the last two years will be gone. Additionally, their replacements don’t do all that much for me. McCoy is going to be running until he pukes.

12) Will the Bills make any in-season trades this year? Yes. I mean, it is bound to happen, right? I don’t know if I see Kyle Williams/McCoy getting dealt, but maybe them trading a future pick for a guy for depth. This team doesn’t have much depth to begin with. Plus, the Bills have made a ton of trades since McBeane has taken the reigns. By my count, they have made 5 trades since July. I’m predicting that Jordan Matthews gets dealt. Yes, swerve!!

13) Most entertaining game? I’m going Bills/Saints. I don’t know why, but I can see it being a high-scoring affair with the Saints shitty defense. I’d also go with Panthers/Chargers as well because of the subplots for those games.

14) What will be the most heartbreaking game? Patriots/Bills. Hear me out…We have not had a heartbreaking Pats/Bills game since the MNF game of 2015. I feel we are due for one. No matter how bad the Bills are or how great the Pats are, this happens every other year and it didn’t happen last year or in 2014.

15) Who will lead the Bills in picks? Preston Brown. I cannot tell you how underwhelmed I am with this secondary. They are green as grass across the board. I can’t recall a year where the ENTIRE secondary was new from the year before. I think the inexperience across the board will hurt them. So, I’m going with Preston Brown as the pick machine LB. During McDermott’s panthers years, a LB lead or shared the team lead in picks every year except one.

16) Who will be Bills rookie of the year? Zay Jones. I just think being the defacto #1 WR will lead to his stats being around 50 or so catches. Also, I feel rookie WRs have a bigger impact nowadays than rookie CBs within the first 2 rounds.

17) Who will Bills fans hate the most? Tyrod Taylor. I mean, we are already there, right? The Petermania from preseason is pretty idiotic since the 2nd best 5th round QB since 1990 is Craig F’N Erickson by passing numbers. But, hey, Bills fans are desperate and the reason for why we are dumb for wanting him to play over Tyrod.  Once the press box all-22 gang complain that Tyrod missed an open Charles Clay because he was running for his life, the shit will be on.

18) Will the Bills finish with a top 5 pick? Yes. They suck. The 49ers and Jets are the only teams that are worse. I think Cleveland is going to be better since they are a year ahead of the Bills in the rebuild game.

19) Who will be the worst starter on the team? Jordan Mills. This guy is TERRIBLE. Godspeed to Tyrod Taylor’s body.

20) Who will make the pro bowl? Marcell Dareus and LeSean McCoy. It would only make sense that the two MVPs go to Hawaii together.

21) Will the Bills have a better passing offense than last year by yards? EEEEEH. YES! That’s a tough one for me, but consider that the Broncos last year, with Trevor Semen (#giggles), were middle of the pack in pass attempts. I think the Bills are going to pass more this season. Not a whole lot, but it won’t be 30th like last year.

22) Worst Bills media Twitter follow? John Wawrow. Aside from the fact he’s kissing Brandon Beane’s ass by making him a mixed CD tape (Seriously, can newspaper writers be more outdated?), he’ll be pontificating how the Bills are on the right track in order to kiss their asses for his worthless breaking hmmmmmms and troll fans who aren’t happy. Additionally, he offers zero insight, shitty booze takes, dated music references, and will be basically useless. Sully/Rodak are a close 2nd as they are despised, but at least they are interesting every other 10 tweets.

23) Who will be the Best Bills media Twitter follow? Joe B. Gifs, stats, going beyond the standard play-by-play tweets, and podcasts. Joe B. is jack-of-all-tweeter. Plus, he’s the one media person who doesn’t hate me. So, he’s winning this award every year until he unfollows me.