Are you interested in dating a comely young Vancouverite, but don’t have an angle now that the Olympics are over and you don’t have anything to talk about anymore? Would you like your entire romantic experience to be based exclusively on sports? Would you like that team to have an orca based mascot? Then Vancouver based Excutive Search Dating is for YOU! (A brief check of their website tells me that they are the “dating headhunter”. Charming!)
They seem to be exclusively geared towards the aggressively lazy single person, as they “Actively seek and recruit your perfect match” and “make all the date arrangements for you”. Sure, they may say it’s for working singles, but really, what happened to just plowing the secretary in the copy room? No no, this is for the folks who have no interest in actual romance, but a very real interest in having someone to split the rent with.
All my judgements aside, they have released their “NHL Hockey Season Dating Guidebook“, which is no doubt rife with clever tricks and formulas for dating/recruiting success at during NHL hockey season. It should be noted that this cannot be used for the KHL, WCHA or any NHL seasons NOT involving hockey, such as NHL badminton season (I have the Nashville Predators in the NHL Badminton league). Well, let’s hunt down some of the pointers so when you all are roaming the streets of Vancouver, you know how to find yourself a date at a Canucks game.
– “It’s not about the game” — Important to note, when at a hockey game, working your “game” it’s not about the game. Which game is it not about? The game, duh.
– “You don’t need to be Don Cherry… ” — So leave the purple floral print suit at home
-“Try the following can’t miss approach line this hockey season, ‘Hi, are you enjoying the game?'” — CAN’T MISS! Write it down! Well, the bad news is that it can miss, isn’t that righr, Florida Panthers single fans?
Now, practice everyone! Not much longer until the season starts! Everyone is getting a girlfriend!
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