I am so ill prepared for this recap you guys. I had assumed that I’d be recapping another epic loss and was fully prepared to drown my sorrows in sad gifs and angry ranting, but guess what?
That’s right friends. The Bruins won the game today against the New York Rangers, giving them a nice, shiny two points to add to their tally. I’m not even going to mention Ottawa and where they stand in the playoff race and that they face the Leafs tonight. Nope. Not going there today because it’s time to finally feel okay about hockey, even if it’s just for a few short, fleeting moments.
Let’s talk goals, shall we? Milan Lucic scored the first goal of the game at the beginning of the first after some pretty passing by David Pastrnak. There was some hullabaloo over whether or not it should count and the term “distinct kicking motion” was thrown around a few times, but the goal was deemed to be good and the Bruins were off to an okay start.
Take a look at the goal:
I don’t know to be honest. Looks pretty questionable to me, but whatever. I’ll take it. Fuck it.
The second goal was also scored by Mr. Lucic but that line typically has nothing going for it and should be benched, right Claude?
And then magic happened. Carl Soderberg scored the Bruins third goal of the day. Yes, you read that right. CARL. SODERBERG. SCORED. This goal was beautiful. It was magical. It was like a rare unicorn that you can’t help but want to snuggle with.
The second period was where things got a little dicey for the Bruins, but this wasn’t the usual meltdown of epic proportions. No, what I’m talking about is that Tuukka Rask left the game 10 seconds into the period for some unknown reason. Perhaps he needed the potty, but you guys, he didn’t come back at all. Like, he was gone the rest of the game. There was no clear injury and the team’s doctor was noted by someone on twitter to be behind the bench throughout the game, so I assume that he’s suffering from the after effects of a Taco Bell lunch or something. I’m praying for a flu bug or explosive diarrhea, but having Tuukka missing is scary shit.
(Edited to add: He was dehydrated. Not pooping. Or maybe he was dehydrated because he was pooping. Pooping.)
With young Svedberg in goal and no backup goalie on the bench, the Bruins continued the game and another magical thing happened. Rare Unicorn, did Reilly Smith score a goal?
You saw that right. Smith scored. That’s how odd this game was. Unicorns everywhere.
At the end of the second, Rich Nash scored the Rangers first goal. I have no gif of that. I’m trying to avoid shitty things today, so I’ll spare you having to watch it. The Bruins ended the period 4-1 and I found myself still waiting for the pile of usual Bruins suck to begin.
I figured the third would be where they hopped on the struggle bus but I was so wrong, you guys. So wrong. This period wasn’t the prettiest thing out there, but they only managed to let one more goal in really late into the period leaving the final score at 4-2.
Also, Bob Essensa was on the bench backing up Svedberg for the final few minutes so that the Bruins wouldn’t get fined or something for not having a backup available which was pretty awesome.
-Lucic had a pretty stellar day for himself, but it wouldn’t have been accomplished without help from his line mates.
-David Pastrnak is, and always will be, my favorite Precious Angel Child.
-ShitBidet didn’t fuck shit up as per usual. At least it wasn’t as glaringly obvious if he did. He even had a nice chance at a goal, but it was stopped by Lundqvist. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit typing that.
So, congrats Gregory Campbell for not being obviously terrible today.
-Bob Essensa: Back Up Goalie forever.
I honestly wasn’t going to even go into any negatives today because the Bruins finally won a game and that is a reason to be happy, but then two things happened and I just had no other choice. Thanks, Seidenkowski for ruining it for me. *sigh*
-Matt Bartkowski got involved in his second fight of the season but it was because he did some bullshit out there.
GIF: Matt Bartkowski really lucky to not be called for boarding here pic.twitter.com/511xjBlopl
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) March 28, 2015
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
That’s probably not okay at all Bart. You’re damn lucky you didn’t kill a guy or get called for it. Stop it.
-What did Seidenberg do today? Got into some sort of pissing contest with Dominic Moore over something stupid most likely. Hurt feelings or whatever. I don’t know. Other than that, not a whole hell of a lot. He lost a glove at one point which isn’t a surprise. He needs one of those little kid mitten strings so that he stops losing them on the ice. Also, he lost his stick at another point. Pretty much his day consisted of losing his equipment and getting into a scrap with Moore.
-Will they win the next game against the Hurricanes?
-Will Ottawa beat the Maple Leafs?
-Why did I mention Ottawa when I said I wouldn’t go there?
-Will these ominous feelings ever stop with this team?
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