Mantis est peu un paresseux — Mantis is a lazy a-hole, more or less

mantis

Dr. Mantis Toboggan will be joining us every week to answer questions submitted by you, the readers!  In the future, you can send any questions, about anything at all, to [email protected] .

Kyla (Harpor Woods): Do you think the Red Wings will make the playoffs this year?

Dr. Mantis Toboggan: When I first read this question, I thought it was a joke.  The last time the Red Wings didn’t make the playoffs, The Simpsons aired for the first time, you could buy gas for a buck and a quarter, and astronomy was revolutionized with the hubble telescope being placed in orbit.  Damn, now that I think about it, a lot of good shit happens when they don’t make the playoffs, so I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t.  BUT I think they’ll sneak in like the socks guy in Mr. Deeds.

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Travis (Long Island): How do you feel about Justin Verlander’s extension?

Dr. Mantis Toboggan: How do you feel once you’ve waited six hours to use the bathroom after a long night of drinking and had a meal of string cheese sticks?  Yeah, it feels REFRESHINGLY AWESOME.

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Kevin (Windsor): What the fuck is up with the Pistons?

Dr. Mantis Toboggan: What the fuck is up with the Pistons is right. No really, what? I haven’t been watching that much.  Didn’t they get moved to Tulsa?

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Corey (Norwalk): Why aren’t you at all the Super Bowl festivities in Miami?

Dr. Mantis Toboggan: I was invited to go to a couple parties, but Sharpie and Kleenex sponsored parties didn’t appeal to me.  I assumed that the most famous people at those parties would have been the Savage brothers anyway. I have no problem sitting at home, trippin’ balls on acid, and watching the Super Bowl from my couch.  Thanks.

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Trista (Midland): What’s your favorite TV show?

Dr. Mantis Toboggan: Anything I can play drinking games to.  Drink every time you see Neil Patrick Harris. Drink every time Snooki gets punched or you want to punch her.  Stuff like that.

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Stu (Hollywood): I have a really disgusting rash on my bum, what do you suggest I do?

Dr. Mantis Toboggan: Move to Cleveland.

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Cal (in fornia): My fiance watches this show called “Snapped,” which is about all these wives that lose their shit and wind up murdering their husbands.  Should I be worried?

Dr. Mantis Toboggan: Woo boy.  I’d be very, very worried if she watches while sharpening the kitchen knife, or lets out a sadistic giggle every time the husband is murdered.   Other than that, I’d say it’s totally fucked up, but you should be safe.

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