Mike Abdenour Spits Fire: An Update On The Detroit Athletic Trainers

– Brandon Inge’s left hand assploded after being hit by a pitch last night. The pitch whizzed right by Inge’s arm tat’s and will sideline the .260, 6 HR star for possibly all of August. Kevin Rand examined his broken hand and gave him the a-ok to stay in the game. That’s just how Kevin Rand rolls. You might also remember that a couple months ago he recommended Bob-C to continue throwing with what would later be diagnosed as a torn rotator cuff. Seay probably complained about the whole “can’t lift my arm up excruciating pain” thing but I imagine a defiant Rand stood over him and said something along the lines of this. Seay attempted to throw and reported this…”Throwing in the bullpen today, I couldn’t get my arm in a throwing position”(link). To which Rand stood over Seay and simply said “pussy” and walked away.

So, Inge stood at first with a broken hand and met with Rand. I’m sure it was a one sided conversation with Inge complaining about the whole can’t move my hand thing and Rand once again delivering this. Inge didn’t take kindly to his manhood being questioned and stayed in the game to prove a point to Rand, likely having a reaction very much like this. Inge then took the cowards way out and left the game soon after to deal with teency weensie ouchie. Reportedly, Rand spit in the palm of his hand and open hand slapped Inge across the face when he asked to be pulled from the game. Rand then casually put on his shades, popped his collar, got in his Hummer, turned up Godsmack and left Comerica Park in the 6th inning.

– Possibly one of the top 5 Detroit sports figures in my life has been the wide sage Mike Abdenour. Abdenour is the Detroit Pistons head athletic trainer and part time actor. Abdenour has been diagnosing ankle sprains for over 3 decades as the Pistons trainer.

If you are still reading this, you are likely as pathetic as me and watched the Pistons summer league games. In the opener, the Pistons took on the Lakers. Some goober ref was acting all Joycey and Abdenour had to set him straight. Twice. Abdenour, the trainer, got thrown out of the game. The video doesn’t do Abdenour’s venom justice, but Dumar’s reaction is pretty spot on. The Pistons were inspired by Abdenour and made a heroic comeback in this game and beat the Lakers making the Pistons champs once again, atleast I think that is how Summer league basketball works.

Luckily, no Pistons were hurt for the remainder of the game. I’m pretty sure league protocol calls for the player to be taken to the locker room and shot if an injury occurs with no team athletic trainer around.