Mike Trout’s Prayer

For those of you who know me personally, I am not a religious man.  I don’t think I’ve actually prayed for anything since I was a little boy.  However, I now have a prayer to call my own.  A prayer to my personal lord and savior Mike Trout.  It goes a little something like this:

Our Trout who art in center (and sometimes left or right),
hallowed be thy name.
Thy MVP will come.
Thy wheels get it done
on the road as it is in Anaheim.
Give us this day our daily win,
and forgive us our LOBs,
as we forgive those who pitch around you,
and lead us not into poor situational hitting,
but deliver us from losing.

For thine is the franchise,
and the leadoff spark, and the future World Series glory,
for ever and ever.

Amen.