(Perry takes it hard to the rack)
Since I started writing about basketball ten years ago, I have not had many opportunities to actually play basketball. That recently changed as I joined a group of my fellow public librarians for some Sunday morning hoops. One guy has become very interested in basketball and seems to be leading the crew of assorted librarians and friends in a game each Sunday morning at 8AM before the courts get crowded and it gets too hot here in southern Louisiana. I hadn’t played in a game since at least 2000, so my expectations for my own play were not too high. I played a fair amount in my college days, and here is a scouting report based on the height of my powers:
Shooting: Missner is a streaky shooter with decent accuracy from about 12 feet. He is not very good around the basket and should not attempt anything beyond 15 feet. At his best, he could hit a few jumpers in a row, but is not very aggressive offensively.
Dribbling: Missner has clearly not practiced with his left hand much. He can bring the ball up on offense, but his handle (and his foot speed) is not good enough to penetrate. He once had a decent post game, but is largely a back-to-the-basket player.
Passing: This is the best part of Missner’s game. He doesn’t believe in over-dribbling and likes to make quick passing decisions. While this sometimes results in turnovers, he is pretty good at finding the open man.
Rebounding: Missner is a terrible rebounder. Much like his hero, Brad Lohaus, he has bad hands and is highly encumbered by gravity. He can, however, box out.
Defense: There are two main aspects of defense: athleticism and desire. Missner has the latter, but not the former in any respect (he is a librarian/writer after all). He does stick to his man because he does not have the quickness to freelance. His slow feet mean that he can be crossed over easily. He is unwilling to take a charge.
Intangibles: After watching hours of basketball, Missner has decent basketball IQ. Sadly, his skills, age, demeanor, and lack of athletic gifts make this knowledge largely meaningless.
Based on the above scouting report (which I copied and pasted from CBS’ recruiting savant Jeff Borzello), I don’t have much of a game. I didn’t have high expectations for myself last Sunday. We started with a 3-on-3 halfcourt game. On the first play, a ball caromed off the rim in my direction. It was over my head and as I twisted to get, I took a fall on the cement. I shouted, “I’m ok.” To my surprise, I was. For the most part, I was able to get open, but I couldn’t get any of my shots to fall. Our team lost.
A couple more people showed up and we went full-court. Full-court is always more fun. One of the new players had similarly limited skills to me. He was younger and more athletic, but I didn’t have to worry about him taking and making many jumpers over me.
We played three or four games up to 15 and my team lost every game. I was fairly competitive when I was younger, but that fire has pretty much burned out. I was glad to get out and play (and I did hit a shot in the last game). I was also very happy that my fitness level was good enough so that I kept up fairly well. However, at some point (and maybe when I fell), I took a hit to my right thigh that caused a bruise which now stretches about a foot across. I also somehow managed to pull a muscle in my shoulder or upper back. In other words, I am too old for this shinola. I’ll play again with my fellow librarians someday.
This Sunday, however, I am sleeping in.
Perry Missner is a college basketball enthusiast who writes for RotoWire along with several other outlets. He welcomes your comments on Twitter at @PerryMissner or via email at [email protected]
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