(Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports)
I have a confession: before I sat down to write this article, I drank a full can of Coca Cola because I knew the caffeine contained therein would enhance my performance. I know this may eliminate me from consideration in the Manifesto Hall of Fame or possibly, the Writers’ Guild Hall of Fame, but I did not know that caffeine was illegal at the time. In fact, I wasn’t even sure that Coca Cola contained caffeine. I just knew it was delicious and helped me write better. All of Coke’s sugar also helps me stay fat and jolly.
I have never really understood why sportswriters have made such a big deal about steroids. If there were a magic pill for writers, there is little doubt that many of this previously holier-than-thou group would be gulping them down in any effort to win more Pulitzers (not that they would help likely). I am not just talking about the recent Hall of Fame vote in baseball which left Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, and (most egregiously to me) Sammy Sosa out of the Hall, but to Bill Simmons’ latest effort to open things up. The Sports Guy seems bothered not so much that players take steroids, but that he doesn’t know who is and who is not. This seems like a particularly myopic point of view.
Another point of view (which is one that I share) is that steroids should not be banned, but should be regulated by the leagues. Complain all you want about the crazy numbers put up by Sosa, Bonds, and Mark McGwire in the mid-90s, but there is little doubt that their pill-popping, dinger-hitting days allowed baseball to regain some of its popularity after the 1994 strike canceled the World Series. I don’t look back on those days with a sense of disillusionment, but a sense of wonder at the numbers being put up.
“What about the children?!?” will be the shrieks heard from the people who think steroids are evil. If baseball and football players are required to compete at the highest level, won’t youngster have to take them to even get a ticket in the door? First off, I think each person is responsible for their own actions. I, for example, would not take a pill that would make me a better writer but endanger my future health, but I wouldn’t condemn those that do. To each, their own. I don’t necessarily believe the people say that there are no clear effects (either positive or negative) to steroids, so it would not be a decision to take lightly.
Could steroids be regulated? Maybe, maybe not. Even if some steroids were allowed when players were returning from injury or just to boost performance, there would be players who would abuse them. That’s the nature of the very competitive business. The problem for most sports writers seems to be that they want their sports heroes to make good with good old fashioned hard work and no help from technology (perhaps first introduced in the hypocritical Rocky IV). What advantage is too much? Should Lasik surgery be banned? What about the use of lasers in surgery?
All in all, the steroids issue is a messy one (sort of like this column) and not one that I find particularly compelling. I don’t care what players do off the field/court (which is part of the reason that I like fantasy sports). I don’t think they should be seen as role models because their profession demands that they be ultra-competitive jerks to succeed (for the most part). And most players will do anything to succeed (which is what the public appears to demand), so why wouldn’t they take PEDs? Wouldn’ t you?
Perry Missner is a college basketball enthusiast who writes for RotoWire along with several other fantasy outlets. He welcomes your comments on Twitter at @PerryMissner or via email at [email protected]
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