Monkeying Around

My brain is still fried from watching the season premier of “Lost,” so I don’t think I am going to be able to come up with a cogent bit of analysis or any clever satire today.  So, I figured I would take advantage of the fact that my mind is skipping around from thought to thought like the Lost island jumps around in time and just spit out some of the random thoughts that have been running through my mind about the Angels:

Damn you, Lost!  Now I can’t think straight with all these alternate realities cluttering my brain.

• One of the unforeseen side effects of the Joel Pineiro signing: mustaches.  I can’t begin to describe to you how excited I am for Pineiro to bring the mustache fad to the Angel clubhouse.  If Jered Weaver grew a sweet stache, I’m pretty sure Chris Hanson and the “To Catch a Predator” crew would swoop in right in the middle of a game and ask him to explain himself before throwing him in the slammer.
• I just realized that Kevin Jepsen is probably the best Angel reliever right now but he is very likely to end up being behind Brian Fuentes, Fernando Rodney and Scot Shields on the bullpen depth chart.  On a related note, I just died a little inside.
• The Dodgers have been signing former Angels (Jeff Weaver, Alfredo Amezaga, Ramon Ortiz) like it is going out of style.  If only Tony Reagins knew they were going to go on such a former Halo feeding frenzy, maybe he could have gotten the Dodgers to take Gary Matthews and all his bad contract off their hands.
• Speaking of the Matthews trade.  It is worth noting that the last time the Angels made a trade with the Mets before a season, they won the World Series.  I’m just saying.  That trade also included the Halos dumping an overpayed slugger on the Mets and getting a pitcher back.  Again, I’m just saying.
• Why doesn’t Mike Napoli take a stab at playing first base?  Let’s face it, he isn’t ever going to be a good defensive catcher but his bat needs to stay in the line-up.  He could get loads of extra at-bats filling in for Kendry Morales when he needs days off and the Halos need a back-up first baseman anyway.  The only reason not to do this is because it make too much sense.
• I’ve been thinking about all the statistical projections and subjective predictions that have anyone but the Angels winning the AL West.  There is a factor I think everyone is overlooking here: people get tired of the same thing always winning.  That’s why nobody picks the Angels.  They always win the division and people get bored with that, plus it isn’t exciting to pick the historic favorite, so everyone tries to be cool by going against the grain and picking the Mariners, Athletics and Rangers only because everyone is doing it, it ends up being with the grain and kind of ends up being an accidental consensus.  Does that make sense?
• This Doppleganger thing on Facebook has made me mad at John Lackey all over again.  You see, my Doppleganger would have been John Lackey, I get it all the time, especially when wearing an Angel cap.  But I can’t in good conscience boast to the world that I supposedly look like a Boston Red Sux.