If you are coming here for stats or commentary from today’s game, you’ve come to the wrong place. For me, today’s game wasn’t about what was happening inside RWS, but outside of it.
As I wrote earlier this week, normally I’ve had a fondness for going to meaningless December games. As some of you guys know, I’m a Buffalo ex-pat living in NYC. I’ve been living there since 2002 and for the most part December meaningless games were always a yearly tradition for me. It made sense since Christmas was always the time of year I would come back to Buffalo for at least a week. My first meaningless home game was in 2006 and besides 2011/2014, I’ve hit up at least one of these non-sellout or “Russ Salvatore presents the Buffalo Bills” games. Sure, it sounds awful to go these games, but you have to understand when you move away from Buffalo and come back to visit, everything that you missed becomes magnified because you don’t see it every week. The wings, the local beer, our sports teams, and our old friends. It all means more because its like what Don Draper said about nostalgia…
“It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. It goes backwards, and forwards… it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel, it’s called the carousel. It let’s us travel the way a child travels – around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.”
That’s why seeing December games was kind of a reunion of sorts for me. It takes me back to being a kid and not having to worry about bills (The ones you pay) and remember the good times from my teenage years with the same people I’ve known since the 90s.
Getting up for tailgates was always something special for me. It was my version of being a kid and getting up early to get gifts from Santa. I’d be the first person to tell my friends that we had to get up super early so we can tailgate for 5 hours and basically make fun of each other and the Bills. The weather sucked, but the times were great because the people I hung out with made it great. Yet, sometimes you need more. The same jokes you make with your friends and Bills nostalgia doesn’t cut it anymore because you’ve been there far too many times. You’ve been down the rabbit hole of talking yourself into finding the good in something that has obviously lost its luster.
Alas, for this game…a game I got 40-yard line seats around the bowl for 50 bucks a month ago…really good seats…I couldn’t muster the excitement at all. I woke up today with a scowl on my face as I looked out the window and saw rain. Rain. Rain. Fucking more rain. Quite a metaphor for the Bills, huh? But, hey, I went to some brutal December games in the past and I could take it. However, today was different and I wasn’t alone.
My friend Tim, who has gone to at least 4 of these meaningless games with me, wasn’t feeling it either. I tried. I tried buying the best beer and killer Wegmans subs cause I wasn’t gonna cook in this shit, but there was nothing out there that was going to make me excited about this game. I repeated to myself “Why the fuck am I going to this shit?” at least 20 times during the car ride to the stadium. But, hey…GREAT SEATS…To see Kellen Moore take on Ron Brooks and see Tyrod Taylor connect with some dude with the jersey #11..or was it #17?…BUT BILLS NOSTAGLIA!! Let’s just hit the fucking road…
So, Tim and I get to the stadium by 9am. We parked in the ECC lot because the mud lot was filled with, well, too much mud.. Right after we got out of the car, we knew we were fucked and regretted this. We didn’t have a canopy and while we had ponchos, it was cold, windy and damp. My beer was going down like Drano and rain kept landing on my Wegmans sub. It was 9:45…Come on..get to 12pm…we can go in that shitty bar area that tax payers paid for last year…its dry…is it 11:45? Looks at watch…fuck, its only 10:30!?
My friend looked at me and said, “there’s no way we are saying for all of this, right?”
Me: Fuck no, we are out by the 4th quarter.
11:15 hits…the rain isn’t stopping and my 3rd beer still sucks.
Me: 4th Quarter? How about we just leave at halftime?
For the first time ever…I couldn’t wait for the tailgate to end. This is coming from someone who likes to drink and has accentuated the positives and hid the negatives of these shitty meaningless games. Tim and I had about 20 nod exchanges during this timeframe where I could read his thoughts. We just rolled our eyes and our facial expressions were all we needed to know what was on each other’s minds. At this point, all that pontificating from me about Deadspin/Bills fans getting powerbombed through a table…well, I wanted to get powerbombed through a table filled with fire cause at least it would keep me warm and put me out of my misery.
By 11:30, I looked at my friend and said, “Fuck this, let’s go back to your apartment and watch Return of the Jedi.” Alright, we still watched the game at his house, even though I fell asleep for the better part of the 2nd half, but we busted out of there. 100 bucks basically for food/parking/tickets down the drain before noon even hit. I got home by 12:15. I couldn’t do it.
Bottom line: I’m sick of hiding the flaws of watching this football team. Fuck tailgating. Fuck global warming. And fuck the Bills.
I’m not 27 anymore and I can’t find solace in tailgating like I used to. Maybe it was the rain or the fact that the roster for today’s game was filled with underachievers… or guys who were cut, re-signed, and now starting (AJ Tarpley)… and our buffoon coach on the sidelines probably consumed by the Jets, got the best of me. Just today seemed depressing. The stadium lots were dead and no one was really say a word to each other. No Shout songs or anything. I think I heard people bitching about Rex. And to make matters even worse…Our game next week might be flexed so I can see the Jets make the playoffs on national TV and see other shitty teams like the Texans/Washington make the playoffs. Ugh. That finale was supposed to mean something for the Bills. It was supposed to be the Bills trying to get in the playoffs by beating the Jets. Remember we thought that was the case after we beat them to go to 5-4? Alas, its just another meaningless game and now I have to see all these other teams go to the playoffs while I’m stuck with a soggy Wegmans sub.
There’s no way I’m going to meaningless home games in December again. Like Murtaugh said in Lethal Weapon, “I’m too old for this shit.” I just wonder how long until more fans follow suit. Trust me, the day I throw 100 bucks down the drain by not going to a Bills game is a monumental day for my fandom.
Anything can happen when your football spirt is put out by a downpour of rain and a shitty Bills season.
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