My night at the Celtics Draft Party

I spent last night at the Celtics’ draft party at the TD Garden and all I got was this free t-shirt (and Guerschon Yabusele!). Here are some musings from last night:

6:50pm: Two buddies and I waltzed into the Garden with pep in our step and visions of a Trader Danny fireworks display. It was a bit disorienting entering the building in late June as opposed to winter, and getting through security and to our seats was an absolute breeze.

6:55pm: We walked straight onto the Garden floor and the area was abuzz with excitement. Mike Gorman and Tommy Heinsohn were right in front of us pontificating about the night to come. There were no referees around, so Tommy seemed calm and amiable.

6:58pm: We decide to go grab beers, so we can settle into our seats by 7:30pm to watch the draft unfold. What we didn’t anticipate was a seemingly interminable line.

I can’t confirm the number of minutes it takes to get thru the beer line at the garden but I estimate it’s about 10 picks long

— Ben Mark (@BMark86) June 23, 2016

7:40pm: And… we’re still in line. My movements for the last 40 minutes have been: Refresh twitter 10 times, move 2 steps, then repeat. The line is starting to get excited at the prospect of Jimmy Butler. The guy in front of me yells out “You trade Crowdah, you trade Bradley, you trade all of them for Butler.”

7:46pm: With beers in hand, we rush through the tunnel and plop into seats in section 17, just in time for Jeff Goodman’s tweet confirming the Celtics will pick Jaylen Brown. After a flurry of trade rumors that fired up all in attendance, the selection of anyone other than Kris Dunn was going to completely enrage the Garden crowd.

7:47pm: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

7:48pm: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

7:50pm: Wyc Grousbeck is introduced to more boos. Grousbeck smiles and cups his hand to his ear, channeling his inner Roger Goodell. The smile belies frustration at what he says is the worst reception he’s received in 14 years. I was honored to be a part of this chart-topping night for Wyc.

9:25pm: The Brown pick could have caused a mass exodus out of the Garden, but most fans have stayed put in anticipation of a late-breaking trade, or a trendy pick at 16. Instead, fans got Guerschon Yabusele.

9:27pm: I quickly check my french-to-english dictionary and discover Guerschon Yabusele translates to stale fart. It now makes sense why 90% of the remaining fans fled the building like someone just let one rip.

9:30pm: We somehow survive the mass exodus of fans and stay put in our seats. We want to see what Danny does at 23 before calling it quits for the night.

10:16pm: Cue up the MOP and Ante Up!!! It’s everyone’s favorite Croatian Sensation at pick 23.

11:07pm: Every NBA fan’s dream is realized when the Lakers select Ivica Zubac from Bosnia and Herzegovina. The Celtics and Lakers haven’t had a big man battle like Zizic vs. Zubac since Russell vs. Chamberlain. A battle of Boston and LA and bragging rights in Eastern Europe.

11:45pm: After stuffing my face with nachos at Tavern in the Square, which came just hours after a work party that featured Blue Ribbon Barbeque, I end the night with a nausea-inducing Uber ride and puking outside of my apartment. Maybe this is TMI but I feel like it’s a representation of how most Cs fans feel after being force fed rumors for weeks and finally letting it all out.

12:00am: Goodnight, and sweet dreams of Yabusele pick-and-pops, Jaylen Brown dropping in on Harvard lectures and Ante Zizic tearing it up in Europe for the next five seasons.