The NFL owner meetings are this week in Orlando, Florida where there are allegedly meetings in dark rooms where new owners go through rigorous initiation rituals by burning the NFL Logo on their left ass cheek and allow Roger Goodell to shave their scrotum. So I hear. I mean, I’m not a team owner, so I’ve obviously never been. There also may be talk about rule changes, signing of restricted free agents, and maybe player trades, but that clearly is secondary.
This is of note for Viking fans because our “frugal owner” Zygi Wilf is down there apparently voting against the proposed overtime rules for the playoffs that would allow each team a chance of possession in overtime. You know, so Favre could get back on the field to win it all and, you know, finally get this bastard team to a winnable Super Bowl. But no, not Wilf! Him and Norman Van Brocklin both hate change, although they like to call it “the tradition of the game”. Of course, concussions are a tradition of the game too, but no one seemed to oppose changing regulation around those.
Regardless, it’s clear that Wilf needs to be put down like a 20 year old cat because of this. To make it even more clear, PJD has obtained a list of other proposed rule changes that clearly would benefit the Vikings but have reason to believe that Wilf would turn these down too. Read on to find the list …
– A rule change that would make training camp optional for quarterbacks and select veteran players aged 37 and older who have a wife and two children, with a higher priority to daughters. Training camp could be skipped with zero repercussions, and if any, random old person wanted to declare their intent to return before that time, they wouldn’t be obligated to attend camp. Zygi decided it wasn’t for the team.
– A proposed realignment of NFL subsidies that would help to keep smaller market, historically important teams afloat with financial assistance geared towards player salaries and, oh, I don’t know, maybe priority teams that would need a new stadium in order to stay relevant. Zygi declined approval, thinking that he has the state legislature right in his back pocket in regards to the stadium issue.
– Referees proposed a rule change where, if there were obvious miscalls like, say, a complete miss on a pass interference or a high-low hit on a quarterback, things that should have obviously been overruled, they could go back and review the tape upstairs to make sure the proper call was made. This would be for glaring missed calls, only the most obvious, ridiculous, bull shit calls, that should never have been made (or should have!) in an effort to clean the game up. Zygi said, “Nah” because he thought the refs had been doing a great job so far.
– A proposed rewording of the league policy on uniform changes that would allow a team that approved a uniform that looks like a rape baby’s dead body found in a dumpster to change their threads without having to wait the full three or four years. Zygi passed, feeling that the current Vikings uniforms are “super cutting edge, and look really modern. The kids love it!” Dick.
Have the readers heard anything else? Put them in the comments.
Add The Sports Daily to your Google News Feed!
