National Anthem of the Glorious Toronto Maple Leaf

As we all know, all too often Toronto seems to be the center of the hockey world. Isn’t it like every year Maple Leafs fans are predicting a Stanley Cup victory? OK, that’s enough with the sweeping generalizations for one post.

Anywho, I kind of view the team in the same light that Kazakhstan is portrayed in the “movie film” Borat, that is, if you are familiar with it’s fictional national anthem. If you ask me, Toronto has it’s own little iron curtain surrounding it, keeping all the liberal naysayers out. To anyone who lives there, it’s the best team ever cause they’re the mother fuckin TML! The outside world? Well, the outside world has a slightly different view. Communist ideology. Pretty awesome, isn’t it?

The point to all this; the fake national anthem is a pretty accurate description of all those TML Homers… If you change some words around. And for the record, I never said I was profoundly original.

National Anthem of the Glorious Toronto Maple Leaf

Toronto Maple Leaf greatest hockey team in the world,
All other teams are run by little girls.
Toronto Maple Leaf have number one power play unit,
all other countries have inferior power play.

Toronto Maple Leaf home of Man Who Looks Like Fetus, it’s length 180 centimeter and weight 84 kilogram.
Skating abilities a marvel to behold.
It score seven game winning goal.

Toronto, Toronto you very nice place,
From Inner Harbour to western fence of Ottawa.

Toronto Maple Leaf friend of all except Montreal Canadien,
They very dumb French people with bad spelling.

Toronto goaltending best in the world, we import Toskala and still have Raycroft.
Toronto Maple Leaf’s captain finest in the region, except of course Calgary’s.

Toronto, Toronto you very nice place,
From Inner Harbour to western fence of Ottawa.
Come grasp the mighty penis of MLSE from junction with the testes to tip of its face!

Cue the massive backlash from southern Ontario.
Ballhype – National Anthem of the Glorious Toronto Maple Leaf
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