National Championship Preview: Alabama -vs- LSU

National Championship Preview: Alabama -vs-
      LSUIt’s the eve of the most mythical of mythical national championship matchups. The game that no-one outside of the bible belt actually wanted to see again after the ugly 9-6 OT finish in the middle of the season. The matchup that brought to light questions as to why, exactly, Michigan was not allowed a rematch in the 2007 mythical national championship game.

Amusingly, while everyone was busy clamoring that they would refuse to watch the championship game this year, a number of major College Football analysts and writers claimed that fans would watch anyway. “It’s college football at it’s best,” they breathlessly exclaimed, “You can’t help but watch it in the end.”

Well, I have repeatedly argued that I would not, could not, watch that travesty of a championship. To that end, I will not preview the game either. Instead, I provide you with a channel-by-channel listing of everything else you could be watching instead of torturing your ocular nerves with that field full of pathetic SEC suck. Enjoy!

I’m choosing the 8pm showtime start, so that you’re not even tempted to finish the ridiculous preview show.  Also, I’m not endorsing any of the shows or channels on the list (especially none of the political/news programs), merely providing you a public service so you know what’s available rather than having to scramble at the last minute.

  • ABC: The Bachelor, Castle
  • CBS: How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Two and a Half Men, Mike and Molly
  • NBC: Who’s Still Standing?, Fear Factor
  • Fox: House
  • PBS: Antiques Roadshow (x2), Martin Luther, Charlie Rose
  • A&E: Hoarders (x2)
  • ABC Family: Pretty Little Liars, The Lying Game
  • AMC: Blazing Saddles (if I turn the TV on at all, I’ll probably be here)
  • BBC: Top Gear (x2)
  • Cinemax: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
  • CNN: Anderson Cooper 360, Piers Morgan Tonight
  • ESPN2: College Basketball (West Virginia at Connecticut)
  • ESPNU: College Basketball (Oklahoma at Oklahoma State), College Basketball (Cincinnati at Georgetown)
  • FNC: The O’Reilly Factor, Hannity
  • FX: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
  • G4: Groundhog Day
  • History: Pawn Stars (x2), American Pickers
  • MSNBC: The Ed Show, The Rachel Maddow Show
  • TBS: Family Guy (x6), Conan
  • TCM: The Andromeda Strain
  • TLC: The Cake Boss: Next Great Baker
  • TNT: The Mentalist (x2)
  • USA: NCIS, WWE Monday Night Raw
  • WE: The Golden Girls (x8)

Heck, better yet, go watch something on Netflix, or on your DVR, or go read a book.  You could even go get a tooth canal if you can find a dentist willing to do it that late.  Whatever floats your boat.

Just don’t give the Championship even a minute of your time.  It’s really, honestly, not worth it.

Arrow to top