NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman revealed that he is secretly “in heat” for Columbus winger Rick Nash. Bettman was outed when a provocative headline was released on NHL.com with a headline that read “Rick Nash shows why he’s nasty.” The picture below, sent to Detroit4lyfe by anonymous sources, is proof. (Click for enlarged version)
The link, believed by most to be a link to a highlight-reel goal, actually redirected viewers to this video.
When asked about this puzzling circumstance, Bettman just smiled. “Rick Nash, oh he’s a dirty boy,” the commissioner said. “When I see him skating around and getting hot and sweaty, oh the things I would love to do to him.” Bettman was asked about his current relationship with Penguins forward Sidney Crosby, to which he candidly responded, “Sidney and I are very much in love. He gives me what I want, and I think I treat him just right. But Rick, oh he’s just so sexy. I just want to put him in a bubble bath, put some water wings on him and smack his little bottom. I’ll take him home and… just punish him.”
Nash was both puzzled and concerned when asked about this. “I don’t really swing that way,” Nash said. “A lot of people think I’m retarded because I play for Columbus, but it’s not like I went to Ohio State or anything. And I don’t know why they think I’m gay either. Plus he’s in love with Sidney, everybody knows that. He’s living his dream.”
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