No dead cat bounce in Philly Eagles this year…

No, it ain't gonna happen again.

Last year's Eagles were a "dead cat bounce" team.

They started out 3-1. But the 2012 team as a cohesive winning unit was already done way back in 2011 when they were 5-8, yet put on an improbable rush against a vulnerable schedule at the end to finish 8-8.

Andy Reid called Jeff Lurie's bluff. Lurie blinked.

Lurie had been on record as saying 8-8 would not be acceptable. But somehow, ultimately, it was…

And then we had 2012.

It was a mess of prima donna's on both sides of the ball— and the assistant coaching staff, too.  Andy's tragedy with the death of his son didn't help.

"Dead cat bounce"– a Wall Street term. It refers to when a once-favored stock suddenly drops mega-points in value, usually due to a horrible earnings report or a scandal combined with a general downturn related to other events—such as a national disaster or a sudden rise in interest rates. And then investors look at the beaten-down stock and start buying it again, thinking it has already hit an artificial bottom but still has inherent value.

Thus, the cat that fell off the roof of the Empire State Building and hit the pavement— bounces!

But it's dead. And it crashes down again.

The 2011-2012 Eagles were a dead cat that bounced twice. Lurie stopped his loss and quit buying into it.

Mike Myers as "The Cat in The Hat" in the movie by the same name said it best when he refused to apologize for the destruction he caused to his little new friends' mother's dress—

"That dress was ruined before she bought it."

That pretty much describes the 2012 Eagles.

Welp, it's a new day.

There's no more bounce left in that dead cat. It's been cremated.

Sure, there's always the chance that the Chippah and his new systems on offense and defense and special teams catch fire early—maybe the team breaks out at 1-0 or 2-1 or even 3-1….and the "dead cat bounce" talk starts up.

But Kelly is smart enough to know that by Game 4 the rest of the league will have all the tape they need on you to bring you back to reality. The strength of your position then is you know you have a brand new ball club. Your team's "dead cat" days are long gone. Now you have to prepare your guys for adversity and for the flexibility needed to accept that the other teams in the league are adjusting to you.  You're going to get beat sometimes. The other dogs are trying to eat, too. That's when you shake the "dead cat bounce" jinx and make your move.

You steal a win. You send a message. We can adjust…

I don't know the guy personally, but my instinct as a fan is I think Kelly gets all this…

Kelly is not insane. No sane man would walk into this job and think he's realistically going to create a 14-2 juggernaut overnight.

But I'm pretty sure Kelly gets that this 2013 season is going to be a 3-act drama… there will be an initial love-in trimester where everything he does will be applauded, especially if he can pull off a couple or three wins in the first month.

Act 2 will be the let-down… a couple of close losses or a loss against a divisional rival which boils down to a controversial decision by Kelly.

Act 3 will be either a steady comeback to at least threaten for the playoffs or a methodical descent into tough losses and subsequent experimentation with his roster.

But at best or worst, no "dead cat bounce". This team is a kitten, very much new and alive, and no matter what setbacks it suffers, Kelly knows he's got enough time to build it up into what it needs to thrive as an adult.
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Ever wonder just exactly what  this so-called "conditioning test" is that guys like Matt Tucker and Brad Wing just recently failed?

Jordan Raanan of NJ.com asked Kelly that exact question: "What is it?"

Raanan provided us a nice report based on Kelly's answer::

"Chip Kelly played it coy. The new Eagles coach didn't want to provide much detail about the conditioning test that two rookies already failed and the veterans took Thursday afternoon after they arrived for training camp."

"We've got a running test," Kelly said."It's a conditioning test. It's a series of sprints with rest time in between, and it varies by position."

Clearly Kelly isn't big on providing details about his training regimen. That's been evident from the day he arrived. It's as if he runs a top-secret space program that is manufacturing sensitive government information when, in fact, he's running a football program whose job is to try and win games. When pressed about his innovative training techniques, Kelly has tried to offer as little information as possible without being rude.

Here's how Jordan Raanan understands the conditioning tests based on his observations:

• Linemen have to do 20 x 40-yard sprints….each in under seven seconds.

• Linebackers and tight ends have to do 20 x 50-yard sprints… each in under eight seconds.

• Skill-position players have to do 20 x 60-yard sprints…each in under nine seconds.

Players are allowed to rest in between sprints. They are given more time as the test goes on.

This isn't anything unique. In fact, it's quite similar to conditioning tests that Andy Reid used over the years, according to several players.

Thanks, Jordan. Hope we didn't burst too many bubbles here about  the magic and wonder of the Chippah.