Not included: a soundtrack with a harp

In my day, I’ve watched a lot of TV and the occasional movie. A vacation planned next summer had me think of the vacation montages you see whenever the various families or lovers or whatever go overseas. They get there, and then there is a two minute splicing of pictures of famous landmarks with video of characters pointing at them. Why? I don’t get it. “Look! There is the Eiffel Tower! I spotted it because it’s among the tallest structures in France!” “I’m directing your attention to the top of The Arc de Triomphe! It’s up there!” “French people! Check ’em out!” Of all the things people pantomime in montages, tourism is among the worst.
Inevitably, one of the characters will fall in love. Even more inevitable, the two lovers will share a romantic kiss on a bridge. After this kiss, it will go one of two ways. If it is someone who met some French girl (or guy), after their kiss, they will part ways, their love no more than a wonderful memory. Which begs the question, if they were going to split up just then, why go to the middle of the bridge? If one goes the other way, that means one has to backtrack. Why would person B make Person A walk halfway across the damn bridge only to turn around again? Or if Person A chose to go half way across the bridge, why not escort person all the way across the bridge? It could be the last you see of her!
The other way it could go, of course, is that the two people (usually the parents in a family comedy) realize how much they love each other or something. So, after they have made it halfway across the bridge, stopped, enjoyed the view and smooched, then what? “Well, we kissed on a bridge. Let’s get dinner. I’m dying for crepes!”
This deranged nonsense is a direct result of a little cabin fever. But I have learned that nothing says love like kissing on a bridge.