| So it’s 4:10, I’m early for kickoff, and if you knew me, being early for anything just isn’t part of my DNA. Sitting on my couch with Ben & Jerry digging a hole through my Americone Dream…The notes of vanilla ice-cream swirled with caramel and chocolate covered waffle cones distract me before I all too soon realize…the game would be starting in five minutes if not for the local blackout restriction. Long story short, I finally found the game online and here’s how it all went down. For the first half, I’m just going to skip to the chase because we all know it really doesn’t ever get that good until the second half. Seven seconds remaining before half time and our friends from the Who Dat Nation kick a hardly redeeming field goal leaving the Bucs up by 10 at the half. Prefaced by the most epic PlayStation commercial ever (you know which one I’m talking about) the Visa half time report goes on to announce the Power Play. This Power Play was none other than our highlight of the 1st half: the 65 yard touchdown made by Arrelious Benn (also the biggest play of his career.) My vote for a close second place? Coach Payton’s leg getting stuck under Saint’s tight end….Jimmy Graham. This is where it gets juicy. Third quarter with three minutes left, the Saints succumb to our Bucs defense and are forced into their second field goal, making the score 20-13. With thirty-five seconds left in the third quarter, we finally answer back with Barth’s field goal which makes it 23-13. Fourth quarter and I find myself reading Who Dat Nation’s fan tweets…Laugh out loud. They’re so bored and caught off guard right now that they’re tweeting historical facts no one ever cared to know about. So here’s what I’m thinking as I nurse my Bud Light: Are we really going to let the Who Dat Nation creep up on us? Not in Tampa baby, not in Tampa. Wish I was at the game. WHOA what was that? Who Dat Nation must have buttered our ball… Number 82 must drink Red Bull because Red Bull give you WINGS! Did you see that? Wish my car would do that over pot holes. My legally streamed NFL game is lagging so bad it feels like a hacked game of Call of Duty. You know what I’m talking about. 7:24 left after Barth makes a 38 yard field goal. The score is 26-20 but we are not out of the woods yet. If we’re giving up any points right here, it better not be more than a field goal…Wait, what happens at 3:16 is even better: Brees throws an interception and Black catches it! Once again, Bucs defense bringing it home. I thought Bucs would try and run the clock down at this point, but seems anyone else who also thought that was wrong as well. We are just determined to put more points on that score board. What happens next? A lethal mix of endorphins and testosterone allow the Bucs to get really cocky, causing them to start celebrating before the game is even over. This forces them to call a time out since they didn’t get the play off in time. To all of you who put your money on the Bucs, it’s time to go cash in. |
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