Of regurgitation and spilled beer

I apologize for not posting yesterday. I was in no shape to do so. I’m getting old, and I was out past 6, and I just had to get to bed when I got home. But let’s talk about those Twins and the two games I’ve been to the past few days.
The first was a game in the cheap seats against the Anaheim Angels. It was a pretty hard game to watch, frankly. Kevin Slowey gave up three runs and the Angels pretty well looked dominant throughout. After the game, the Twins said that they were OK with the way the game went because they kept it close, as they had done most of the series, but the fact was, they didn’t. The score indicated that this game was close, but frankly, it wasn’t The Twins weren’t hitting and the Angels were raking, including Torii Hunter, who hit a home run before anyone on the present Twins roster.
Also, just because I have to share the most disgusting moment ever at the Metrodome; there was a group from a nursery home sitting in the handicapped row two rows ahead of us. It was a motley crew, to be sure. One of the attendants had some sort of Disney character tattooed on the small of her back, and was showing us about 4 inches of butt crack and had the figure to show us neither. Another attendant had a perfectly square butt. It was mesmerizing every time she got up. Then, one of the elderly women sitting just one row in front of us would not stop staring at me. It was totally unsettling, but pretty much defined my overall romantic life. The incident though, that expressed the game as a whole and repulsed me and my friends the most occurred, naturally, after we had all gone to get ourselves Dome Dogs.
A woman in a wheelchair who was about 120 had just finished hers. It didn’t stay down long. That’s right. She threw up right in front of us. And then threw up again intermittently for about 3 or 4 more innings. It was awful. The question is, why didn’t Square-Ass or Butt Crack take her out? We’ll never know. This is going to be an image that will haunt me all my remaining years. “Just lean forward. Come on…” Uck.
There was, thankfully, no geriatric barfing at yesterday’s game. And, actually, the game went a lot better. The Twins continued to be disinterested in scoring many runs, but they managed to score 6 in this game, including three on a moon shot by Justin Morneau (Two people in my group called it). Livan Hernandez continued to impress, showing efficiency as he pitched his way into the 7th inning once again before giving way to Matt Guerrier and Joe Nathan.
I went with a group of 7 (yes! I have 6 friends) and we did a good job, maintaining the economies of St. Louis and Milwaukee (and, in my case, Denver) before during and after the game. And really, we didn’t have to drink it. I’m not sure how he did it, but one of my friends launched his beer into the backs of the people in front of him. Fortunately, they were all right with smelling like beer for the rest of the game. Hell, we all already did. Later, someone put his beer in the aisle and during a mad dash to the bathroom another of my buddies punted it down the stairs. This guy was not as happy, but it’s not my friends fault he didn’t know how to operate the cup holder. Putting your beverage in the middle of the aisle at a stadium is akin to leaving your car running while you visit North Minneapolis. Except more dangerous. All I can assume is that the guy didn’t want to finish his beer, and if so, don’t let it go to waste like that. It’s a mess the stadium crew shouldn’t have to deal with.
The theme, I think, for the Twins is that the worst case scenario is manifesting itself with the new players. The Twins organization has shown an ability to be patient to a fault with young players, so if there were any problems with Chuck Gomez or Delmon Young, they would be allowed to work through those problems, and the Twins and their fans would understand. Now, however, after the hot start from both players (not to mention Matt Tolbert) the Twins will cling to these three guys no matter how much the struggle. Call it the Lew Ford syndrome.
On the other hand, the Twins have been burned too many times with recent free agent acquisitions, and I worry that the Twins and their fans my be eying Mike Lamb warily. Sure, 7 games into the season, he’s really struggled, but the fact remains, he has, save for one unlucky year in 2005, always hit above .275 in a full season. He WILL come around. Even if he hits the .230 he did in 2005, that’s still better than the alternative, and with more home runs. Craig Monroe is just in the wrong environment in Minnesota. He needs to play somewhere where plate patience is encouraged, and Minnesota is not that place. As for plate patience, though, Denard Span was recently called up. In today’s game, he was the only player to draw a walk. The team is headed in the right direction, and hopefully, the organization can recognize that.