One Fan(n)’s Opinion: Darby “Hawt Taeks”…A Letter

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When Joe asked me if I had any takes for the situation with Ronald Darby vs Twitter-verse situation over the past few days, I was ready and willing to do so. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that everything one could take from it (or taeks as the title spoofs) has been said. Except to truly ask the question, “what would I have done if I were 21 and in his shoes?”

Hopefully, this letter will help.

Ronald,

Listen, I get it. I’ve been quick to defend friends and family when it seems like the world was against them. That loyalty is an amiable trait and one you shouldn’t shy away from. However, you have to think about the other side of things, as you attempted to point out in your tweets about De’Andre Johnson. Sure, if you want to debate the merits of equal prosecution of violence regardless of sex – that’s a great discussion point and one that is a tricky and nuanced without a 140 character limit. However, you have to keep in mind that the dynamic of a college athlete that is working out, priming himself to be the physical apex of his peers punching a woman, on tape is never going to go well. I know that De’Andre has alleged (with witnesses) the female said a racial slur and while I can understand the anger that would evoke (especially with drinks a-flowing) that’s not good enough. Ronald, my man you gotta realize that from now until you decide to end lacing them up, you’re going to be a target for ridicule and judgement – so you have to be on at all times, especially on social media.

At 34, I can look back at things I did and even do to this day and say, “gotta do better”. Any time I chat with folks on Twitter, I have to avoid during debating and in turn vomiting information to get points across, but I still fail miserably. I can only imagine having Twitter at 21 and wanting to stand up for a friend and say “you don’t know the whole story”. When I say it, at best I have 1100 people that can check me and say “that was dumb man”. When you say something, you have 7500 people that are looking. Out of those 7500 at least 6 work for ESPN, Buffalo Media, Fox, SI, NBC Sports or CBS. So when you say something, it’s going to get on TV. When you say something it’s going to be tweeted or re-tweeted or screen-capped and put on Sports Center. When you’re at a club, you’re going to have guys (or gals) trying to take a shot, because they’ll get on WorldStar because of you. I’m not telling you anything you don’t know – you heard this at the rookie symposium. And this week you’ve felt it, if only in as smaller dose. Deleting your tweets only made things worse – because now the screenshots will speak for you instead of…you. 

“This above all: to thine own self be true”. You have to be true to yourself Ronald, but you have to be aware that you don’t know everything yet. Remember, that though you are defending a friend against a wave of negativity, a lot of that negativity is borne of a messy cocktail:

• A university that has been in the news for a number of bad reasons and whose fans have been lockstep in defending it;
• Your prior relations to Jameis and how that paints you; 
• Your statements after being drafted, saying you can’t control who you’re around; and
• The current state of domestic violence in the United States and how the Ray Rice, Jameis Winston and Hope Solo cases have brought them into the public eye;

And that’s before I mention the optics, regardless of age of black man punching a white woman in Tallahassee. That’s a letter for another day – but bottom line your friend couldn’t put himself out there doing something more avoidably bad. You can’t put yourself out there defending him, especially for hitting a woman and not come back with anything but a steely resolve to accept the slings and arrows. I hope that you realize that violence against a woman, regardless of the situation isn’t warranted; but, if all you learn after this is that the fans and media are fickle I fear for the next incident. Because this incident becomes added to the precursor paragraph each writer will have for you in instances of embarrassment:(this one from ESPN)

Notice how that mentions you, Williams and O’Leary. There isn’t enough room on the article to throw the perfunctory “Hey the Golden Bear is Nick’s grandpop” because the incidents yourself and Karlos have been involved with are getting center stage. You still have time to change this narrative. 

Please do so. Not for me, but for yourself. Be able to look in the mirror when it’s all said and done and say “I did something. I meant something. I stood for something.” 

-Rich

PS – I think you meant ‘barely’. It came from the heart so I understand.

PPS – Even when you’re retired you should probably keep a lot of stuff to yourself. I mean, look at this. Do you really want to be “that guy”? I didn’t think so.