As we all gloriously saw on Sunday, the Green Bay Packers choked in epic, Vikings-like fashion against the Seattle Seahawks, losing the game as embarrassingly as a pimple faced virgin shooting his wad down her thighs for the first time. It was an all time classic.
Like many of you, I sat there watching my TV, rooting so hard for the Packers to fail that I practically burst a blood vessel in my anus. But clearly, it was worth it. After working their way up to a 16-0 lead at halftime, the Packers went ahead and forgot how to play football, letting the Seahawks score 28 points in the second half and over time, while Aaron Rodgers and an “amazing” Packers offense only managed to put up a measly 6 points in the second half.
The Packers had everything working in their favor. They had a huge lead, and got the Seahawks in a come-from-behind position that they are rarely in, so they were able to take Seattle out of their offensive and defensive comfort zones, if they wanted to. They forced 5 turnovers of the Hawks. They had them beat in time of possession. They had the better quarterback, less penalties, less turnovers, and were playing a defense that literally had one arm tied behind their back.
AND THEY LOST. But damn, did they do so in fashion!
According to ESPN and Elias Sports Bureau (which tracks amazing and random statistics), here are just some of the amazing records the Packers helped to establish in an NFC Championship game:
– The Packers become only the third team in NFL history to lose after they were winning by 10 or more points in the final three minutes of the fourth quarter. The other two were the 49ers and the Jets. NO VIKINGS!
– The Packers became the third offense in the history of the NFL to not score a touchdown on two separate drives when they reached the 1-yard line. The other two offenses both belonged to the Carolina Panthers. Again, no Vikings, and now your only company is the PANTHERS. Christ.
– The Packers are also now the only other team in NFL history to give up a game-winning overtime touchdown in an NFL conference or league championship game. The other team to lose was the Giants, and the Giants are a stupid team.
– The Packers let Russell Wilson become the lowest rated quarterback to win a postseason game (since 2006) when using the QBR metric to measure quarterback ratings.
– Aaron Rodgers has kept his losing streak against Russell Wilson alive and strong, to 0-3 in their careers.
– At 5:04 left in the game in regulation, the Packers had a 96.1% chance of winning the game. They obviously ended up losing. I’m not sure what record that breaks, but I bet it breaks something.
Doesn’t all that information just warm your heart? It does mine. And I think Packers fans should also be pleased to know that, hey, even though your team got totally shit on and you guys are now awful, you will always be remembered in the record books for sucking it up, REAL bad in a game. Congrats, shit heads!
Add The Sports Daily to your Google News Feed!
