Pretty much anyone who has followed the Swedish and German national teams through the years would have concluded that Sweden should have let Germany keep Jerome Boateng on the field after getting a red card today. The sense of largesse and benevolence endemic to Swedish society renders it incapable of seizing on any perceived advantage while the unassailable German will to prevail was only ramified by the loss of a field player.
Witness Viktor Claesson’s decision to decline easing the ball into the German net on a counterattack. Had he been a Pole or a Brazilian, Claesson would have put his foot through and had the Germans reeling at 1-2 with a quarter of an hour or so to go. But the Swedes are nice people, and realize that their quality of life and happiness quotient is even higher than Germany’s. Sweden likes hockey better anyway.
Devil Fire
Since Lukaku was so poor as a kid that his mom watered down his milk, the obvious conclusion is that this life hack produces great footballers. When US soccer moms get wind of this, expect demand for milk to be cut in half, with the White House retaliating by imposing 200% tariffs on Belgian whipped cream, in turn reducing demand for Belgian Waffles, ultimately reducing the average American BMI by 20%, which confounds our President because he wanted to increase the size of the average American to make him look more svelte.
Belgium scored five against Tunisia, and could have easily had five more. The problem is they kind of take turns playing; one day its De Bruyne and Mertens, the next day its Lukaku and Hazard. It will be interesting to see if Sterling and Rashford can make Belgium’s back three turn on Thursday. With top place in the group at stake, it should be a slugfest, although their group crosses over with Group H (Poland, Columbia, Senegal, and Japan) and its not clear if either England or Belgium would prefer to play unless Japan manages to advance.
Mexico
The crappier we treat our neighbors, the better they get at soccer. The paradox of winning a joint bid for the tournament in 2026 seems almost preposterous juxtaposed with some of the images we’ve been seeing at the border. Mexican fans have treated the US national team disgracefully sometimes at the Azteca, but without our team there, I think a lot of right-thinking folks are rooting for a deep Mexican run just to shove it up the ass of the administration.
Hirving Lozano is emerging as a top winger, and Mexico is a well-balanced side with lots of attacking ideas and the ability to swarm and interchange in the attacking half. If they make a quarterfinal team against a structured side like Croatia, it could be a fascinating match up.
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