Having a second, I thought I’d test the new photo feature here, so I decided to do a search of “Brewers’ fans” and go with the most entertaining picture…there was one better than this one, but it might have been a bit too controversial (depicted a certain German fuhrer rooting for the Cubs). Since I used to work for the largest manufacturer of sausage (yes, the plural of “sausage” is still “sausage,” not “sausages”–go look it up), I decide that this was as good a forum as any to air my beefs (“beefs”–get it??) regarding the sausage race participants: 1. Bratwurst–no complaints. 2. Italian sausage–kind of a corny and stereotypical get-up, don’t ya think? 3. Hot Dog–okay, first, why isn’t it called “Frankfurter?” Much cooler sounding name…even “weiner,” although that might get some snickers from the kids. 4. Polish Sausage–it’s a “Kielbasa.” Everyone whose anyone in Wisconsin or even the north side of Chicago knows it as a “kielbasa,” calls it a “kielbasa,” and asks for a “kielbasa.” 4.5 Chorizo–I think is should make its 2007 debut on Cinco de Mayo, even if there is no game…no, wait, it should be in the everyday lineup from day one. 5. Knockwurst–absent…and not a reason as to why from anyone in the Brewers’ organization…and Gord’s not returning my calls about it. 6. Ring Bologna–admit it, it would be funny as hell seeing a looped sausage running the track. 7. Cocktail weinie–have one of the bat boys or players’ kids dress up…just make sure to warn them in case someone signs Randall Simon. 8. Thuringer–why have the semi-dry sausage been left out? A nice 5′ wide chub running around would be hilarious. 9. Pepperoni–Wisconsin is (or at least was) the nation’s top producer of pepperoni…yet no indication that the tall, skinny pizza topping has been invited. 10. Head cheese–I honestly don’t know what this really is, but it might be interesting. Lastly…let’s have real handicapping and betting windows…wouldn’t that make the race extra fun? David Hannes Copyright 2007
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