Picks for the Weak: Week 5

Picks for the Weak: Week 5
The look of a man wondering why he didn’t stay at Cincitucky.

Welcome to the 5th week of “Picks for the Weak”, the gameshow where Jay continues to work us over.

We’ve got an excellent slate of games in front of us this week. 7 of the 10 games include a ranked team, with 5 of those being matchups have both ranked. In fact, there are two battles of top 10 teams this week.

And then there’s a game with a team that’s in total free fall – and I can’t seem to think of anyone that’s particularly bothered by it.

Oh, and we would be loath not to mention the Red River Slapfight.  It’ll be interesting to see how that one turns out, though I feel like it’s not going to be much of a surprise this year.

Don’t forget, “our computers” are the predictions from WhatIfSports.com who are picking at above 80% for the season.

Keep reading for our picks!

Thursday, September 30th

Texas A&M at Oklahoma State

Both teams in this one are undefeated, though neither team has beaten anyone with a pulse all year.  The only BCS team either has played was Washington State in the first week (an OSU blowout).  Neither team has impressed in their wins against weaker opponents.  I’ll give OSU the benefit of the doubt, considering TAMU’s recent levels of suck.  Don’t forget, this OSU is referred to as T. Boone Picken’s University ’round these parts.

Eric: TBPU 27, TAMU 14

Computers: TAMU 32, TBPU 31 (52.5%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay

Saturday, October 2nd

#7 Florida at #1 Alabama

Here it is, the first real test for the Gators.  Alabama passed their test (barely) with the help of Ryan Mallett and his two interceptions.  That’s not exactly fair to Mallett who had a very good game before tossing it away in the end.  Alabama is not likely to fall against the Gators, despite their current success.  John Brantley is a good quarterback, but his offense has been struggling of late – though the inclusion of Trey Burton and his 5 touchdown outburst against Kentucky could be the shot in the arm that Florida needed.

I’m going to give this one to Bama, but only because Florida’s defense has yet to be tested and I don’t believe that they’ll be able to contain the Crimson Tide attack.

Eric: Alabama 20, Florida 17

Computers: Alabama 29, Florida 19 (76.2%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay
Bama Bama Bama Bama Bama

#9 Stanford at #4 Oregon

This will be a great measuring sticks for two teams that are trying to prove their mettle early in the season.  Stanford has been dominant without Heisman runner up Toby Gearhart at runningback, crushing nearly every defense they’ve faced to a powder.  Oregon has been solid as well, moping up Tennessee a couple weeks ago.  Arizona State, however, exposed some weaknesses in Oregon, and it weren’t for the 7 turnovers given up, Oregon might not have been able to escape that game.

Stanford should be able to hold with the Ducks in Autzen Stadium and pull out the victory.

Eric: Stanford 38, Oregon 31

Computers: Oregon 37, Stanford 28 (62.4%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay
Tree Tree Oregon Tree Oregon

#21 Texas vs. #8 Oklahoma (neutral site)

Welcome to another year of the Red River Shootout.

This year looks like it’s going to be Oklahoma’s the whole way.  Even though they nearly whiffed earlier in the season, they’ve at least managed to pull it around, whereas Texas has looked beatable every single game, especially when they absolutely blew it to UCLA last week.

Either Texas was very much looking ahead, or Oklahoma will have no trouble.  Give it to the Sooners.

And no, I refuse to call it the “Red River Rivalry”.

Eric: Oklahoma 28, Texas 24

Computers: Texas 28, Oklahoma 22 (69.3%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay

#11 Wisconsin at #24 Michigan State

The good news from this one is that Coach Dantonio is already back, though he’s only going to be coaching from the press box.  That said, Michigan State is going to have everything they can handle with this Wisconsin team.  I’m not certain about the outcome, simply because Wisconsin barely escaped ASU – as MSU barely escaped Notre Dame.  It absolutely makes my skin crawl to do this (because I hate Wisconsin), but I have to take Wisconsin over Sparty.

Eric: Chipmonks 21, Sparty 17

Computers: Wisconsin 38, Michigan State 37 (62.4%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay
Wisc Wisc MSU Wisc Wisc

By the way, have you ever noticed how much the Wisconsin mascot looks like a Chipmonk?  Seriously, look at him – that’s a Chipmonk if I’ve ever seen it.

Picks for the Weak: Week 5
Look! Chipmonk! It’s even hoarding stuff in it’s cheeks like one!

#22 Penn State at #17 Iowa

You just know that Iowa is still looking for some blood after that Arizona loss.  They beat the snot out of Ball State last week, but they’ll be gunning for PSU as a way to make themselves feel better.  And with their defense, I think they can do it too.  The Nits will have no answers on offense to be able to attack the Hawkeye D.

Eric: Iowa 17, Penn State 6

Computers: Iowa 22, Penn State 20 (50.5%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay
Iowa Iowa Iowa Iowa PSU

Virginia Tech at #23 NC State

Who ever would have thought coming into this season (or any of the last 5) that Virginia Tech would ever be ranked lower than NC State?  This has to be a sign of the apocalypse.  Although, now that I mention it, I’m sure JMU over VT was a sign as well…

NC State is currently undefeated with 4 wins under their belt, including an impressive stomping of Georgia Tech.  NC State Quarterback Russell Wilson already has over 1100 yards and 11 touchdowns under his belt and only a single interception so far.  He seems to be making good decisions, and may be ready to lead the Wolfpack to an ACC Title.

Virginia Tech, of course, is on a 2 game win streak smacking Eastern Carolina and Boston College around.  It’s tough to say if VT is actually back to being the VT we expected at the beginning of the year.  This game might tell us for certain, especially if their defense can force Wilson into costly mistakes.

I honestly don’t believe they can.  Wilson should lead the Wolfpack over the Hokies.

Eric: NC State 31, Virginia Tech 24

Computers: Virginia Tech 36, NC State 31 (73.3%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay
NCSU NCSU Tech Tech Tech

Georgia Tech at Wake Forest

I honestly don’t believe there is any team in the country more inconsistent than Georgia Tech.  They literally look like a different football team from quarter to quarter.  Wake Forest, however, is totally hapless, getting crushed at Stanford (68-24) and at Florida State (31-0).  The Yellow Jackets will figure themselves out in this one long enough to take control and ride it to victory.

Eric: Georgia Tech 28, Wake Forest 7

Computers: Georgia Tech 36, Wake Forest 20 (84.2%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay
Tech Tech Tech Tech Tech

Washington at #18 USC

For all intents and purposes, this is Jake Locker’s last chance to redeem himself as a star quarterback.  Washington has been pathetic so far this year except against Syracuse who has been so bad for so long that they’re not even worth discussing.  As for USC, they haven’t been much better, despite being undefeated.  Let’s just say that if Minnesota the chance to even look like they’re in the football game with you, you have more serious problems then you imagine.

Your eyes do not deceive you, I’m picking Washington.

Eric: Washington 35, USC 31

Computers: USC 38, Washington 22 (86.1%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay

Notre Dame at Boston College

The battle of the Catholic Schools, playing for Ireland – well, a trophy shaped like Ireland anwyay – and for the honor of no longer being the absolute suckiest team in D-1A college football.  Sure, Boston College has a 2-1 record, but they got shellacked by Virginia Tech – you know, that Virginia Tech team that lost to James Madison?  My point stands.

I think Brian Kelly will manage to turn things around this week and pull out a much needed win to save his job.

Yea, I’m kidding about that, but it’s still funny.

Eric: Notre Dame 23, Boston College 10

Computers: Notre Dame 27, Boston College 24 (64.4%)

Jeff Mali Jim Joe Jay


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