The Vikings minus Childress: This was the day everyone had been waiting for. The Vikings were going to play a game without Brad Childress at head coach, something that hadn’t been done since 2005, and even then it wasn’t anything to write home to the heifers about (insert *Uh-huh-huh-Mike Tice). Welcome Leslie Frazier, and welcome to your first game as the Vikings Interim head coach, on the road, against Donovan McNabb, who is 5-0 against the Vikings, including the playoffs. Personally? I thought this team would play some inspired football for a half but ultimately get snake bitten without having anyone on hand to suck the venom out of the cock tip to prevent infection. It looked like the fans weren’t even going to get a decent half of play out of this team, as the Vikings allowed an 83 yard drive for a touchdown right away. Jesus. Here we go again. But … but then something happened. The offense threw on first down. They ran some screen plays. Purple Jesus touched the ball early. And they scored on an opening drive. You know they haven’t done that ONCE this year yet? Not once. What a bunch of idiots. But here they were, showing resilience, getting pressure on the quarterback, racking up four sacks, an interception even, and not turning the ball over once. Oh, that is also the first time that’s happened all season. Go figure you end up winning when you don’t give the ball to the opposing team. BRILLIANT!
And while I’d like to give Frazier – or really, the absence of Childress – all the credit, the Redskins shot themselves in the foot on the way to their 17-13 loss by dropping passes and not stopping the run, and they WERE only a 5-5 (now 5-6) team who had lost to the Lions. So color me not convinced. Just don’t color me Blackface in honor of Leslie, because that’s super fucking offensive.
Mushroom Stamp of ….. Approval? I’d feel like I just skipped over the Rooney Rule if I didn’t give only the fourth Stamp of Approval this year to Leslie Frazier, who did something that Childress couldn’t do in over a year and a half or so in winning a game on the road. But it wasn’t just that. Frazier deserves this Stamp for the way he handled the entire week and the game. He has done it with class, smarts, player relations, and without an ego, which is something we haven’t seen since Tice who CERTAINLY didn’t have an ego. At least not one that could match his several chins. The announcers on TV even mentioned that Frazier went to Favre during his game clinching play (which apparently is being called “The Run” now …) and asked him what he felt comfortable running in that situation. Wait … what? The head coached asked for input from a player that has been active for over 20 years watching defenses adjust to him? And it worked? It’s this type of shit that Childress hasn’t done in the past, or at the very least, we aren’t aware of how many times he overruled Favre on play calling and put the QB (and the team) in uncomfortable positions. People like to think that the head coach is always some genius. Obviously they get too much and too little of the credit sometimes. Childress wasn’t at fault for his players dropping balls all the time or not getting a push on the offensive line, but it was his fault for not knowing what the strengths of his players were and then putting them in a position to succeed. That’s really ALL a head coach has to do, and the only time Childress did this was when he sent Longwell out for a field goal. And believe it or not, it actually took him ALL SUMMER in their first year together to figure out that Longwell liked the laces out. What a dick.
Me no likely Peterson being hurt: The thoughts that went through my head when I saw Purple Jesus get up and limp of the field was the typical grieving process. Denial, bargaining, rationalizing, etc, etc. I didn’t want to believe. I was totally convinced it was over hyped and that he would be back out in the second half, but my heart dropped quicker than your mom’s panties in my bedroom last night when I saw him remain on the sidelines. The worst part is that he was looking GREAT in the first quarter. He was running at five yards a pop and of course took that dump off pass 36 yards that made my sphincter tighten because I thought he was turning on the jets to go all the way. He even got a touchdown, which was the first time that’s happened since the Arizona game. I also am pretty down on White Lightning, aka, Albino Rhino, aka, Flowers for Algernon, this season, but saw glimpses of what he can do if he stops being a pussy, which really is what I think his problem has been this season. He’s just had rookie pouts like Erasmus James had, and it’s made me hate his stupid doughy face. But he looked OK today. He had some power runs that, in an important game where everyone is healthy, he could come in and spell Peterson with some bruising runs. That’s a lot of why the Vikings drafted him in the fist place, I’m guessing, but it’s nice to finally see it come to fruition. However, I don’t want to see it be a permanent role for him to play. I would dump this team like an STD then; very difficultly.
Noticeable differences between Leslie and Brad: I know everyone wanted to sit there during this game and notice all the difference between Childress and Frazier. We all blamed Brad for a terrible team, horrible play calling, gay veto-ing of blitzes, and all sorts of other shit. I was trying to keep a running track in my head of what was so different, but I don’t really know if I saw much. There was the above mentioned “letting players have input” that was alleged, and I did notice more roll outs with Favre which is something I’d always wished the Vikings would have done more of, but you have to wonder if Childress was hesitant to do so because Favre kept on saying he had a broken ankle, busted hamstrings, penises on cell phones, and now pneumonia. I would be hesitant to have my 74 year old QB acting all spry and young too. And of course all the Favre blowers will say that THE IRON MAN is clearly still capable of this type of play, Childress was just holding him back! But that’s just stupid. Favre is still having the worst season of his career, and all these players are still bags of shit. was still letting his vagina gush on the sidelines this week, earning a cool trillion dollars. And I just find it hard to believe that the simple absence of Childress willed this team to a win. It didn’t. The 2010 Vikings are what they are; probably a mediocre team that will finish .500 or so. There were probably signs of this before the season started, and none of it had to do with the coach. It had to do with injuries, Rice being out, an older quarterback coming off an unprecedented career year, and lucky bounces for the defense in 2009. Point being, if the team starts winning they are probably just advancing to the mean of what they SHOULD be, which is still a really annoyingly average team. :dealwithit:
Your 2011 Draft Pick Update: The Vikings really went ahead and screwed themselves by getting themselves to four wins on the season. The four win total is like draft pick purgatory. Teams with four wins always end up between like, the eight spot and the 13th spot. Those picks are shit, especially for what this team needs, which is a franchise quarterback. Now, as the college season continues there may be different opinions on who to draft as bowl games are played out, but most of the college careers for the draft eligible kids are defined by now. So who could the Vikings draft? Let’s look:
1. Panthers
2. Lions
3. Bengals
4. Bills
5. Cowboys
6. 49ers
7. Broncos
8. Cardinals
9. Vikings
NUMBER NINE??! God dammit. The Vikings need a QB, clearly, and having us drop down all the way to the nine spot is a disaster. I didn’t think the Panthers would draft a QB next year, but you have to wonder if Clausen is their answer there, and he sucks, so I doubt it. The Bills would draft a QB clearly, and I bet the 49ers and Cardinals would too. So that’s four teams in the top ten that could nab a QB before the Vikings. This means that not even a Ho-Hummer like Ryan Mallet would drop to the Vikings. There’s been talk of Washington QB Jake Locker falling to the second round, which could be a possibility (Hey, Chad Henne was had in the second round!), but it looks like the first round QBs will be gone by the time the Vikings get to pick. That’s why, in liu of Leslie Frazier’s first win as a head coach, I’m still going with Prince Amukamara from Nebraska as the Vikings pick, if he’s not nabbed by someone first. I don’t really know what some of those other teams who don’t need a QB would be looking at, so whatever. Go ask Shawn Zobel, I guess.
The Shit List: If you are familiar with such things as shit and lists, you know it’s usually a collection of bad things. In this case, every week I normally offer you my collection of bad Vikings players that I hope become unemployed with a brain injury in the near future because they decided to play like a bag of assholes in the most recent game. I also add a quick update as to why I hope they all get colon cancer. I should also point out that this isn’t presented in most deserving order or anything, as all of these people are equally horrible. After Sunday’s game, which was a win, mind you, I still have people that deserve to get burned, and currently here is the list:
Brad Childress (You’re still to blame for the previous seven losses, asshole)
Madieu Wiliams (Nice almost interception that Anne Frank could have made. Horrible angle again on a long pass play. Get your remedial courses in, dick)
Special team coverage (I expect all of you to hand write notes to the Redskins thanking them for that block in the back)
Phil Loadholt (You lucky son of a bitch in the above picture)
Naufahu Tahi (You didn’t do anything bad, but the fact that you teased us with competent play really upsets me too)
n (I can’t believe you sat out another game. Hopefully you had the decency to treat Frazier like a man and not tell him five minutes before kickoff this week? Ass.)
The offensive linemen that rolled up Purple Jesus’ ankle (Fucking die)
Feel free to make your own suggestions in the comments, but we will continue to update this list as each game progresses. I am expecting it to get quite extensive as the losses pile up and will gladly take your suggestions into consideration. So get to hating.
A Winning Haiku for a Vikings Win:
In polls and on field
Washington has learned one thing;
Blackface owns DC
Smugness Talking Points:
– I really hope people don’t get all excited about this win. It was one game, and it should have happened. If the Redskins hold on to an extra three balls they drop a horse cock in the Vikings butt.
– That hit from Chad Greenway was very exciting. The defense should do that more often, me thinks.
– I’ve already heard, after one win without Childress, that people are hopeful Favre may consider coming back in 2011. Jesus, you people are retarded.
– Percy looked pretty good knocking people over. And did I really see him move to the backfield several times in one game? GTFO. Genius.
– The Vikings play the Bills next week in the Dome. That game kind of scares the shit out of me. The Bills don’t look horrible, despite their clearly horrible record.
– Asher Allen didn’t make me want to commit domestic violence today. I thank him for this, even if his play was an aberration.
– Frazier’s interview on the field was actually charming and had character. From a head coach? I know, I was baffled too.
That’s it for this game folks. Let’s just enjoy a nice week, with a win under our belt, and then get pissed off more at the Bears for cheating their way to their record. Assholes. Until then, make sure to follow us on Twitter throughout the week, chat with us on our Facebook page, or e-mail leads, ideas, jokes, stupid Packer websites or whatever else at our e-mail too. I’m sure they’re blaming some ref for losing to Atlanta, right? Idiots.
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