Like we did with Mike Iupati, Taylor Mays, Devin McCourty, Jahvid Best, and Jimmy Clausen, it is time to move on to arousing ourselves with the 2010 NFL Draft. Like last year, PJD is going to highlight several draft prospects that the pundits have projected to fall to the Vikings or that the team has expressed interest in. So from now until draft time, keep checking back to get information on your favorite draft picks as PJD breaks new ground (not really) as we start fantasizing over young men who have recently run around in tight shor … Wait, no, nevermind. Today, we look at Massachusetts offensive linemen Vladimir Ducasse …
Name: Vladimir Ducasse, the second cousin son of Vlad Dracula, The Impaler, Warlord from Russia and Slovenia. Also, he might just be a big dude that plays football. I didn’t really do much research here, but it’s cooler if we think of him as a vampire.
Position: LORD OF DARKNESS. See? Much cooler than “tackle” or “guard”, although he projects to being a guard in the NFL.
Known measurables: A TASTE FOR BLOOD. Man, I could do this all day. Really, this kid is six foot four inches, and weighs in at 332 pounds of man meat. He’s also a strong mamajama, as he scored highest in the bench press for offensive linemen, and is surprisingly deft on his feet for looking like he wants to kill you all the time.
What the scouts are saying: We pulled this off of the NFL.com combine profile, but it seems to pimp our little vampire pretty good here:
Ducasse is a three-year starter at tackle that translates inside to guard for the next level. He came to the U.S. from Haiti in 2002 and that was his first exposure to playing the game of football. He is very athletic for his size with foot quickness, agility and body control but due to his limited experience he often takes poor angles and is not always very quick to recognize stunts and twists by the defensive front. When he has no doubt as to what he is supposed to do, Ducasse looks dominating and powerful. While he is not apt to be an instant impact player, Ducasse has a chance to become a quality starter due to his size, power and athleticism.
The last couple of lines there are important. The Vikings go into the 2010 draft looking to upgrade their offensive line. They may feel like swinging their dicks a bit on these rookie offensive linemen after they hit the jackpot with Phil Loadholt last year, and could potentially grab Ducasse in the second this year. I think most people would agree that upgrading the right guard spot from Anthony Hererra would be much appreciated. The question than is, can this blood sucker do it??
Capital J’s take: We like to check in with Capital J to see what he has to say about the 2010 NFL prospects because he takes his shit WAY too seriously and actually looks into some of these players. Unlike us. You see, we just make fun of them. Anyway, here’s what he has to say about Ducasse, and go check out his website to get the LOW DOWN (kids are still saying that, right?) on tons of other prospects:
Vlad Ducasse is a very raw prospect that played T at UMass, but projects more to a G in the NFL. He is aggressive and physical and reminds me a lot of Anthony Herrera in more ways than one. He shows good movement for a big guy and is a better run blocker than pass blocker. Ducasse did not face top competition and needs some coaching, particularly with his technique. He is expected to go in the 2nd round.
Whenever I see someone mention that a player “needs coaching” it makes me worry, especially when I still don’t fully trust our coaching staff. Quick, someone, who is our offensive line coach? Because I have been less than impressed with what they’ve done since being in Minnesota. With that in mind, Ducasse doesn’t have a CHANCE to be coached up in his technique here. They’ll just have to fill him with the blood rage, I guess.
Why the Vikings would take him: Because, as stated, this offensive line fucking sucks horse cock. I am sick of NFL analysts on TV saying that the Vikings are one of the premier offensive lines in football when they clearly aren’t. Maybe I’m just sick of a rotating door at right guard, a hobbit for a center, the most overrated left tackle in football, and injuries that have riddled the entire squad. These are all petty excuses that make me furious to hear when we lose football games. Oh, you had double plantar fasciitis in both your feet, knees, eyeballs, hair follicles, and testes, McKinnie? Get fucked. Man up. I place unreasonable expectations on your shoulders because you make more money than I do!
Ahem. Besides all that, the O-line is in clear need of an upgrade, both immediately and for the future. Herrera is not a long term answer and this draft is deep in offensive linemen prospects. It would be a perfect time to get one. Vlad here could drop to the second like Loadholt did and could form some stability on the O-line with Loadholt for many years, if he pans out. Also, if he’s better and not letting Favre get his shit killed on every passing play (not that I care from a personal stand point, mind you) it means it’s an instant upgrade. Draft Debacled has Ducasse going on average, roughly around the 53rd selection. That would put him just a bit outside of the Vikings reach, but I feel like by the time you get to that point, a seven pick swing for a single pick – either way, honestly – isn’t outrageous. So Vlad the Wrecker could drop to the Vikes, and several drafts on that site have the Vikings picking him. So who knows. Seems about as likely as that dick head Tebow.
And let’s not forget this important fact: If you have someone named Vladimir on your team that automatically guarantees you one win per season. If he would have been on our team last year, that Championship game would have been played in Minnesota. Think about that.
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