Hurray, we beat the Bears!
OK! We are not the worst in the division anymore!
Uh, I guess we don’t suck as much as before? Yeah?
That’s basically the summary of Week 17 for the Minnesota Vikings and their game against the Chicago Bears, as well as their 2014 season. We finally won a division game – against the Chicago Bears who look AWFUL since hiring Marc Trestman, seriously – which means we locked up third place in the division. That’s cool! We’ve sucked for so long that not being the suckiest has to count for something. Right? That’s really all I have to take away from this. I mean, as far as top-level analysis goes.
On a more personal tip, I’m more or less fine with this season. At the beginning of the year I predicted (apparently) a 9-7 season and said we’d be competitive in the division. Well, aside from a couple of ugly slip ups against the Bills and meltdowns against the Lions and Dolphins, we probably should have secured 9 wins. Of course, I was making that prediction thinking Adrian Peterson wouldn’t have been batting switch hitter all year long, so that screwed me. But I realistically thought we’d end up anywhere from 9-7 to 7-9. And that’s kind of what happened.
We need to win more division games going forward, obviously. The Lions performed surprisingly well this year, when they should have flopped like a donger with their boring and stupid new head coach. They are likely to come back to earth next year. The Bears are a dumpster fire rarely seen. And the Packers won the division, but didn’t look like world beaters. In fact, the team played them better as the season went on (because Christian Ponder played them once, I guess), so I’d feel better about our chances against them in 2015.
Point being, this 2014 season for the Vikings was fine. It was always going to be a throw away year, with a new head coach, rookie quarterback, and an entirely new defense that isn’t fingering their own buttholes all season. The fact that Mike Zimmer turned this whole team into a respectable squad at all is something of note. By the time that new stadium opens in 2016, we should be well on our way to making Wisconsin fans upset. And I like that idea.
Much more to come to wrap up the season, since we’re not playing in the playoffs you see, but I wanted to give this final Bears game it’s due diligence. Here’s a few other notes:
– Teddy Bridgewater has has two or three games in a row now where he’s made numerous throws that make my dick twitch. He’s going to be OK in the future.
– Is Chad Greenway really on his way out? That seems surprising to me, even though I think he’s overrated, but I also haven’t been paying attention because who the hell wants to talk about Chad Greenway?
– Audie Cole, on the other hand, needs to be playing more. Leslie Frazier tried to hold him back, as has Mike Zimmer for a bit, but the dude is impressive. Find a way to get him on the field.
– Adam Thielen had a moment. That was nice.
– Corey Wootton should never dance again.
– Greg Jennings has really shown up the last few weeks, too. He apparently needs to rework his contract (I at least even know he makes too much money), but he is clearly still needed on this team. Especially with Cordarrelle disappointing more than a Thai lady-boy.
– I don’t ever want Matt Asiata to be a starting running back again.
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