I don’t know about you, but that’s what that face says to me.
On Sunday afternoon, under a lazy autumn sun on a lazy Sunday in Minnesota, the lazy Minnesota Vikings lazily jaunted through the motions of a fairly lazy football game, almost lulling the lazy Lions into lazy mistakes which could have let the lazier team win. Instead, the lazy Vikings stayed lazy, lost a lazy game, and move on to next week during what has thus far been a lazy season.
*wet fart noise*
There’s not too much to talk about from this game. The Lions beat our pants off like a overzealous sex addict boxer. But it’s not like they looked great doing it. Stafford didn’t play that well, they were missing two of their big offensive weapons in Calvin Johnson and Reggie Bush, and their kicking game proved to be garbage with a third kicker in the last three games. Gee, Lions, the kickers change but your woes remain the same. Maybe it’s not them, it’s you?! Tell that to your girlfriends.
But damn, their defense is legit. People will talk about how they hate Ndamukong Suh, but as a Nebraska apologist, I f*cking love that son of a bitch. He is awesome and disruptive, and look, his constant pressure on our super shitty offensive line led the Lions to eight sacks, and held the Vikings to 212 total yards. BARF.
That’s a lazy, boring as game. Not a defensive struggle. A defensive struggle would indicate the offenses were testing the defenses. They weren’t, really. The Vikings offense is just young, inexperienced, without playmakers, with disinterested veterans (GREG JENNINGS), and with a god awful offensive line. The Lions just didn’t have half their offensive team. So, it turned out to be a perfect game to play at noon so the national television audience didn’t have to watch that garbage.
We finally got to see Teddy Football again, and while that was fun for an opening possession, he ended up going Ponder on us and throwing three interceptions. How come when Ponder throws multiple interceptions in a game we blame his awful skill set, but when Teddy does it we blame the offensive line? Probably because that’s where the blame actually lies, but I would like to just play devil’s advocate. In either case, f*cking play better, Matt Kalil, you shit.
Whatever. This puts a kink in my season prediction, and heading to Buffalo next week to face a team that likes to sack quarterbacks a lot as well, things aren’t looking too great for the Vikings. But! Maybe we can suck for a high draft pick again and get a receiver, running back, or offensive linemen that isn’t awful? COOL!
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