This weekend is the annual blue balling of NFL fans during the offseason, also known as the NFL Draft. It is a wonderful spectacle of unwarranted attention to young men who have done literally zero in their chosen profession, and also a day for celebration (except for Jets fans) among fans who can fantasize during sex what their newly acquired player will look like running around in their teams jersey colors. Most likely getting injured. Anyway, as our final post before the draft we at PJD will be looking at some of the top players that have been projected to be selected by the purple queens this year. We will provide some positives and some negatives about the highly discussed players in anticipation for this weekend, and be back next week most likely fabricating outrageous “Getting to Know …” type stories about whichever undeserving pompous ass gets drafted. So now, on to the 2009 NFL Draft-or-Bust Off! PS: I know as much about these prospects as most readers do about consensual sex, so don’t put too much stock in this …
chucking the rock, it doesn’t matter who the receivers are. A tandem of Cris Carter, Jerry Rice, Lynn Swan, and Randy Moss wouldn’t make either of those idiots any better, so I’m not sure ho, Rice, Wade, and Nicks would help. Nicks was talked about early as a pick at #22 until he started eating ungodly amounts of pork rinds and stopped working out like he was already guaranteed his millions and watched his weight fluctuated like a self conscious woman. He’d be a good possession receiver, with great hands (I mean, they are so soft!) and good size, but his lack of speed, focus and of course fat ass, has some people concerned. He’ll probably drop out of the first round entirely now, which will make me smile because he seems self entitled. Work for my affection, ass hole! Could the Vikings use another receiver? Probably, that’s why they’re thinking of drafting Harvin. But they may want to wait and see what kind of QB abortion they’ve gotten themselves into, and whether or not Rice eats shit again this year too before wasting pick #22 on someone who can’t wear one size fits all anyway. Besides, this guy played college football at North Carolina. Spare me the Antonio Gates shit, this isn’t a football school.
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