Quick Kicks Around U.S. Soccer

USWNT Advance to World Cup Final
Unless you have been living under a rock, you are well aware that the U.S. Women’s Team is heading to the World Cup Final versus Japan. Yay! To advance, the Stars & Stripes took out number one seed Germany. The most intriguing part of the match was a ten minute span where each squad traded penalty kick attempts.

Deutschland was awarded the first penalty kick in the 59^th minute. Striker Celia Sasic, with nearly 200 career goals to her name, stepped up to take the all-important shot. With such a pedigree, one would imagine a goal was all but a given. To the contrary, Sasic’s demeanor was shaky and nerve riddled. No matter how mightily she attempted to play herself up by clapping and smiling, it was evident it was all a show, she was overcompensating to mask her uncertainty. U.S. goalkeeper, Hope Solo, played the proverbial mind games by wasting time, pacing back and forth along the end line, ensuring that Sasic had plenty of time to ponder the magnitude of the opportunity. It worked. Sasic didn’t just fail to convert, she missed the goal frame entirely.

Just a mere ten minutes later the U.S. were given a PK of their own thanks to a foul just inside the 18 yard box. Carli Lloyd stepped up looking calm, cool, collected, and poised. There was little doubt the shot would find its intended target. Even as German and U.S. players battled for positioning on the edge of the 18 yard box, causing a delay in the PK being taken, her eyes were focused intently on the ball at the penalty dot. The run-up to the ball was methodical yet precise. GOAL! On to the final we go! The night and day differences between the two kicks was staggering.

Sepp Blatter
Speaking of the Women’s World Cup, how pathetic and shameful is it that the “leader” of FIFA, President Sepp Blatter, is reportedly not going to attend the final? While it is disgraceful, it can’t be considered unexpected given the hostile situation within FIFA. And let us not forget Sepp’s archaic mentality towards the woman’s game in the first place, as he infamously stated; “They could, for example, have tighter shorts. Female players are pretty, if you excuse me for saying so, and they already have some different rules to men – such as playing with a lighter ball. That decision was taken to create a more female aesthetic, so why not do it in fashion?”

No, I swear I did not make that up. That is an actual quote from the man in charge of the world’s sport. Needless to say, he isn’t particularly respected by many of the ladies in the game, and rightfully so. Who else is counting down the days until this buffoon is out of office?

Swing and a Miss
The team previously unofficially known as “Atlanta 2017″ recently announced its official team name and boy is it a dud! The club will operate under the moniker “Atlanta United FC.” No, I am not kidding, that is the teams actual name. My initial reaction to reading such news was that I must have stumbled upon a satirical article from The Onion. No upstart franchise would settle on such a generic name as [Insert City] United FC, right? Much to my chagrin I was incorrect. The club is actually going to operate under this ridiculous name. Atlanta United FC? Really? Seriously? Was “Real Atlanta City United FC SC Athletic” not available? Franchise president Darren Eales replied to the criticism by stating, “We wanted a name that is authentic,” Eales said. “It’s a very traditional name, but there will be so much more (about the brand) that will be led by our fans as we ramp up to 2017.”

He considers that excuse of a team name as authentic? Atlanta United FC is about as authentic of a soccer name as Chef Boyardee is authentic Italian cuisine. It is completely unoriginal, lacking creativity or any sense of civic representation.  By the way, do executives within Major League Soccer not understand that “FC” doesn’t make a lick of sense in America? Unless we are referencing the New England Patriots or Dallas Cowboys, we should only be seeing “SC” you know for “Soccer Club.” Last I checked it was called Major League SOCCER.

U.S. Open Cup Update
The quarterfinals are set for the 2015 rendition of the U.S. Open Cup tournament. Major League Soccer advanced 8 teams to the quarterfinal round. The New York Cosmos were the final minor league domino to fall, losing to the New York Red Bulls 4-1. Cosmos goalkeeper, Jimmy Maurer, played well despite what the unfortunate score line projects. Without his heroics between the pipes, the Red Bulls would have tallied 6 or 7 goals. The Red Bulls will face the Philadelphia Union in the quarterfinal round.

Dom Dwyer led Sporting Kansas City to the quarters, as he tallied a hat trick plus one on Wednesday night versus FC Dallas. Oscar Pareja’s boys may have physically been present at Sporting Park but spiritually they never left the state of Texas. SKC dominated the entire match, leading at one point 5-0. FCD notched two goals when the game was well out of hand to make the score line almost respectable.

Real Salt Lake continues to be a thorn in the side of the Portland Timbers, as they knocked the Rose City Soccer Club out of the U.S. Open Cup with a 2-0 victory. Two second half goals for RSL decided the match. Even Nat Borchers gnarly beard was no trump card, as the longtime RSL stalwart made his first appearance in Salt Lake since being traded to Portland during the offseason. RSL will face LA Galaxy in the next round of the tournament.

MLS Predictions – Week 18
Chicago @ Houston – Houston WIN
DC @ Seattle – DC WIN
RBNY @ Columbus – TIE
NYCFC @ Montreal – Montreal WIN
NE @ FCD – NE WIN
Vancouver @ Colorado – Vancouver WIN
Orlando @ RSL – RSL WIN
TFC @ LAG – LAG WIN
SJ @ Portland – TIE

That is all I have for you fine folks today. Enjoy the holiday weekend!