PITTSBURGH PENGUINS VS WASHINGTON CAPITALS
THE PAINT CAN. PITTSBURGH, PA
7:30 PM EST. NBCSN

Home ice advantage. We hear about it relentlessly during the final 6 weeks of the regular season as every team in the playoffs is fighting for that advantage. So what is it, exactly? A fun phrase to put in articles so people can pad their word count. The Penguins regular season road record wasn’t that great on the surface and the Capitals home record was pretty stellar yet here we are, tied at one after two games were played in Washington. There isn’t any other way to slice it other than the ball is now in the Penguins court. Any time you can split the opening two games on the road you now hold serve, and it is up to the Pens to go for the Ace in games 3 and 4. In each of the previous two series between these two teams the Penguins have won 3 of the first 4 games, tonight they attempt to take a 2-1 series lead for the 9th time in 10 series under the guidance of Mike Sullivan. Fortunately for everyone not looking for anything to do on a Tuesday at work there is a ton of drama heading into this game.

1. Tom Wilson

Oh Mr. Wilson, the man who accidentally ran into Brian Dumoulins head in game two is public enemy number one in the eyes of Penguins fans. Not to be confused with another Mr. Wilson, Tom is a processed based dumbass who thinks about the game after his actions. The thing about Wilson is a one game suspension would’ve most likely helped the Caps realize that they have better players to play with Ovechkin and Kutnutzoff than the pretend star they have painted Wilson to be. “His advance stats show that he’s a possession GOD and always drives the play!!” lol ok, sure it has nothing to do with opposing teams focused on the other two members of that line more than they are Wilson. You can trust us on this Washington, we’ve seen that trick before

The best punishment for Wilson would be the first line absolutely destroying the Capitals first line on the scoresheet. If you spend any more time today discussing Tom Wilson then you’ve spent more time thinking about him than his parents ever have. Trash is trash for a reason, it has one job and that is to sit in a landfill while it slowly disintegrates, are we talking about Tom Wilson or a metaphor for the Capitals with Ovechkin as a captain?

2. The puck wasn’t in because of Parallax views!

In a league that can barely figure out when a player does or does not gain the red line before icing a puck you’re going to pull out a disambiguated geometric phenomenon as an explanation? To be clear, if it was in or if it wasn’t that isn’t why the Penguins lost the game but come on, one day the Earth is flat the next day the NHL has doctorates of trigonometry calculating angles in the war room in Toronto. On the next goaltender interference challenge I expect to hear the exact rotational velocity that the interfering playing applied to the goaltender and how much power was generated by the goaltender to overcome the friction and get back into the play to attempt to make a save.

3. The Penguins need to play physical! We need Reaves!

First, nobody needs Ryan Reaves. Second, the Penguins have a very good track record under Mike Sullivan when they don’t engage physically and instead stick to their game plan.

4. The refs suck!!

Okay, I’m with you on this one. It isn’t just against the Penguins. It isn’t just in the Penguins series. It is in every single series in almost every single game. Come playoff time the officiating usually becomes suspect at best but this year has been horribad (s/o to Leah for the word). The thing about the refs sucking is we already know they are going to suck, so why get mad when they suck?  The only way to take advantage is to actually score when the team gets a powerplay and that has been an issue for the Pens so far as the Capitals have killed 22 straight penalties going back to the first round. Of course the Penguins were without Evgeni Malkin in the first two games and that might have something to do with their PP performance. Would be killer to see Geno tee one up on the first powerplay chance of the night tonight.

5. I’m a pussy

It was announced yesterday that Carl Hagelin bit off part of his tongue when he was hit by Claude Giroux in round one. BIT IT OFF. I bite the side of my mouth while chewing and swear enough to make a ship of sailors proud while deciding I would rather be dead. I can’t even imagine the pain of biting a piece of your tongue off. Luckily for Hags he still has the sexy flow so the ladies will still love him, he just might be rough around the edges.

The Penguins used the lines in the image yesterday in practice as everything is pointing towards an Evgeni Malkin return tonight. Sullivan shook things up a bit by dropping Kessel to the third line and even though Brassard has been relatively silent giving him a winger like Kessel might be what this team needs to get that lethal 3 line attack. Brian Dumoulin participated in a full practice but with a noncontact jersey yesterday after he senselessly rammed his head into Tom Wilsons shoulder in game two. If Dumoulin can’t go it will be Hunwick.

Mike Sullivan also mentioned that Daniel Sprong might be an option moving forward, encouraging news for those in the Sprong camp and honestly can’t say that he wouldn’t be better than Simon.

The Penguins have more than a few things to carry on their shoulders into this game. The most important thing is to get the start that they need. In each of the first two games the Capitals scored within the first three minutes. No goal call in the third doesn’t change the outcome of the game. Scoring first and getting to your game early does. Tonight the Pens will come out to their own fans and will be ready to go. If they execute their game plan there is no way the Capitals can stick with them. Good luck getting anything done at work today, lets fucking go!