We’ve discussed the issue that is slowly becoming Ray Ray Edwards around here before. From his Sprewellian antics, to his penchant for disappearing for entire regular seasons, Ray Ray has been amazingly underwhelming considering the stink that he’s been making this offseason.
To add further spilt milk on Ray Ray’s unturned bowl of frosted Cheerios, Edwards has decided to skip the “mandatory” mini camp that the Vikings are hosting for all players from June 11 – 13. You see, I used finger quotes (which are actually just … quotations when you’re reading them) around mandatory because apparently since he’s technically unsigned he can’t be fined for not showing up to an organizations event. Because, you know, “technically” he’s not part of the organization right now.
Well this is real fun, Ray Ray, but let me tell you something …
You’re not fucking Brett Favre, ok? You’re not allowed to play technicalities with the Vikings or the state of Minnesota because you’re upset at the NFL, alright? Once you play the game for 47 years and make an entire nation hate you, and maybe even a foreign country, THEN you can skip out on a mini camp. Shit, you can even miss training camp, but this is all assuming that you DON’T need extra training! That you’re NOT an overvalued bag of dick. Because right now, Ray Ray, you kind of are.
Here’s the deal. You’ve had one good game your entire career. Seriously, one. It was against the Cowboys in the playoffs. That’s it. I’m not even kidding. That’s the one game where you were really a force and people outside of the first tier Twin City suburbs actually knew who the hell you were. And really, I’m sorry that the NFL is screwing you out of this opportunity. I don’t disagree that financially it makes sense to strike while the iron is hot, because if we all put down our rage sticks for a moments and speak freely? You’re never going to be as valuable as you are after this post season. But don’t get mad at my team or my state. Fuck you. Get mad at your union, at your upper management in the NFL. You think Brad Childress or Zygi Wilf can all of a sudden change the rules of the NFL? It doesn’t work like that. And lest I forget, YOU’RE STILL MAKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WHAT THE HELL, MAN??!
The worst part of it all is, as Pro Football Talk suggests, you more than likely are going to come crawling back to the team on June 14, right after the mini camp ends, and sign your restricted free agent tender, which is the last day that you can do so before you “technically” start losing money. I got one rule around here, Ray Ray, and that’s don’t be a bitch. Guess which rule you’re breaking?
The only type of justice that could be had in this world is if you somehow injure yourself while you’re crawling back to the team, maybe on like June 12. Nothing serious, I don’t want you to get forced into a hotel room with Lawrence Taylor or anything, but maybe something where it sure would be nice if you still had that source of income coming in, like a broken pinky finger, or a tooth that needed to be removed. I would enjoy that.
Until then, Ray Ray, I’m failing to see what point you’re making here. That you appreciate a good whine? That you’re the master of drinking enema fluid? Because that’s all I’m taking from this. Or, wait … are you still trying to make a stand? Dick.
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