Real Housewives of Boston: Why the Red Sox are the cattiest team in baseball

I have been greatly enjoying the season-long meltdown of the Boston Red Sox. As if last year’s fried chicken and beer brigade (and September collapse!) weren’t fun enough, this season has had all sorts of schadenfreude for those of us in Yankeeland. Now things have gotten even more ridiculous for the Real Housewives of Boston — because, frankly, that’s what these ballplayers most resemble. The Sox fight like a bunch of mean girls, complete with snide little asides. Good grief.

The latest story is from Yahoo! Sports: Jeff Passan reports that Adrian Gonzalez sent a text message to the team’s owners, whining about Valentine leaving Jon Lester in to get shelled in a July game. So, instead of Red Sox’s ownership telling him where to go with his complaints, ownership agreed to the meeting, which apparently had as many as 17 players. Oh, the meeting was at the Palace Hotel in New York, just before the Yankees series. Way to prioritize for the big series, guys!

So, as Uncle Mike called it, their “Malice at the Palace” event consisted of a bunch of whiny players like Gonzalez and Dustin Pedroia complaining about mean ol’ Bobby V. Look, we’ve all had our share of bad bosses in our life, but the Sox have zero room to complain after last season. These so-called leaders did nothing to clean up their own clubhouse when Josh Beckett and John Lackey and the rest of the “I like beer” crew got their drink on during games. They cost Terry Francona his job, and now they they whine like little girls about big bad Valentine.

You would figure that Sox ownership would tell them to drink a nice steaming cup of shut the bleep up about any of their players complaining about the manager, especially ones underachieving this year like Pedroia and Gonzalez. But since Boston puts the fun in dysfunction, they actually had this dopey meeting. It seems like it went as well as one of those “Real Housewives” reunion shows. No word if there was any hair pulling.

If there anybody who has an undeserved reputation as being a great leader, it’s Pedroia. Among other things, he posed with a sleeping Valentine for a photo making fun of the manager, which got sent around the team. Can you imagine any Yankee pulling such nonsense? Pedroia is a world-class jerk. You have to wonder if Pedroia (and for that matter, Gonzalez) is tanking it this year to get Valentine fired. Classy.

It’s funny — Derek Lowe should be happy the Red Sox didn’t want him. He dodged a bullet there, and is now with a functional, calm team. The Yanks are more like the 2004 Red Sox than the 2004 Yankees these days, and the Sox are like the Bronx Zoo Yankees, except for not being able to win!

As for the Red Sox, Bobby Valentine is not doing a good job as manager. But when you aren’t able to pick your own coaches, and certain spoiled brat stars are going to tank the season to get you fired, then it’s hard not to feel a twinge of sympathy. Of course, every time Valentine looks a little sympathetic, he will do something stupid. At any rate, these are good times to be a Yankee fan!

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