RECAP 26: Government Trash

recap_26

They say a 2 goal lead is the most dangerous lead in any sport.  On one hand, that may be true. On the other hand, I’d like to introduce you to my good friend: 1 goal leads.

Anyway, I remember the first time I heard that saying.  I was about 12 years old.  I, along with the rest of my teammates, were bamboozled that Coach would think this over 1 goal leads.

He explained it to us.  He used big key words like “momentum” and “if you guys blow a 2 goal lead, you’ll run sprints until you puke.”  Logically, it made sense.  Did I know what logic was at 12?  Probably not.  But I knew to hold on to my ass if we had a 2 goal lead.

Watching this Penguins team, one may be inclined to make a logical argument that no lead is safe against them (okay maybe 7-1 is safe).  Though they only came back from a 2 goal deficit to rattle off 4 straight, they still managed to rattle of 4 straight in under 13 minutes of play to take the Senators to task in an 8-5 track meet.

That’s frightening.

FIRST PERIOD

Penguins wasted no time dropping the swinging dick hammer on the Sens.  Crosby’s and Malkin’s lines were like bees swarming all over the Senators zone (if bees weren’t dying at an alarming rate).  Just 1:45 into the game, it was 1-0

Malkin was just dragging ass after being out there for about a minute or so.  Sick little pass to find Rust.  Right before that, Letang, Kessel, and Crosby each could have put the Pens ahead though.

Over the next 6 minutes, the Sens kinda started breaking through the Pens in the neutral zone.  Some guy with a made up name threw a made up pass to Turris breaking through.  Turris sold MAF on top shelf and just flipped it over his pad.  1-1

Letang got caught wandering a little bit.  Unreal skill to get that puck through Cullen and Dumo though.

HCMS challenged it for offsides to give some egg ripping IC Light pounders enough time to try to tweet a new Trade Fleury scenario, but before he would even have a chance to add his hashtag, 87 would put the Pens back ahead.

Great play by Cole and Sheary along the boards to free the puck.  Ugly little hand grenade from Sheary, but Crosby’s explosiveness even after all of these years is still just a sight to behold.  2-1

Sens kept kinda hang around and would even shit back up 5 minutes later.  Fleury would make the initial save before knocking the puck away from Schultz and Cullen into the corner.  Cullen wouldn’t get anything on his clearing attempt and didn’t get much help from Fehr, which was tracked down by Mark Stone.  Stone faked the shot, froze everyone, and hit Karlsson on the far side for the reigning Norris winner Swede to rip one behind Fleury.

Pens didn’t do dick on the two powerplays they had in the period either.  Whatever.  They had 21 goddamn shots in the first frame.

SECOND PERIOD

Just 33 seconds into the period, Hornqvist went off for slashing the stick out of Hoffman’s hands.  Unlike the Penguins first two PP chances, the Sens actually did something with theirs.  With Dion Phaneuf’s Gary Busey looking ass planted in front of MAF, he fished a puck out to Karlsson for a point blast.  It missed the net, came off the end wall back over the goal for Stone to quite nastily bat in.  3-2

Stone showing more patience than Bill Cosby with a pocket full of Forget-Me-Nows.

Crosby had a chance right after that to even things up.  Maybe a hint of a quick whistle, but a hell of a play from Karlsson nontheless.  Instead of a 3-3 game, Daley would take a high sticking penalty and we’d have a 4-2 game.

Started off as a bit of a broken play, but the Sens moved the puck so quickly that the Pens PK got caught with their dicks in the hands.  Didn’t help that Fleury fell as he tried to get across, but he wasn’t stopping that Hoffman shot anyway.  It’d be the end of MAF’s night as well.

Things almost got worse for the Penguins 22 seconds after the goal as Schultz went off for interference.  Much like anyone that wears a fedora, the Sens had a bit of a problem getting into the zone.  Karlsson tried to do a little too much and a hard wraparound the boards was fumbled a bit by Turris.  Rust pulled it out and hit Cullen with a pass.  Despite Karlsson on his ass, Dad was still able to go backhand shelf.  4-3

How many times has a shorty taken a game and flipped it on its skull?  All?  All.

A little over 5 minutes later, Justin Schultz would make Mark Stone look like Mark Borowiecki and hit Kessel slashing through the neutral zone.  Vintage Philtard.  4-4

On the very next shot 24 seconds later, Schultz would pop up again, still carting around Mark Stone’s jock.  Phil with a nice play along the wall to find Malkin, who made two nice moves to get around Pageau and suck the rest of the Sens D in before finding JSchultz joining the rush late for the nip.  5-4

THIRD PERIOD

Mark Borowiecki is the poor man’s Deryk Engelland.  His “value” is in his physical presence.  He hits a lot, racks up PIMs, but generally sucks dick at ice hockey.  And apparently, a “physical presence” does not imply being strong, because 1:05 into the third the little boy got dunked on by Malkin. 6-4

What a play by Phil again to get 71 the puck.  Hope he teabagged Phaneuf in his sleep last night.

About 4.5 minutes later, Cullen got caught tripping up Brassard to send the Sens back to the peep.  Midway through the kill, Stone continued his strong game with a nice play to hold the puck in at the point.  He got it to Turris to crank one on Murray.  Murray had trouble with the rebound and Turris kept it alive, hit the post, and in the scrum, Busey found the back of the net.  6-5

Pens killed off 2 of the 5 powerplays they faced on the night.  One of those two kills came midway through the third with Phil in the box for holding.  He could hold me any time and I wouldn’t penalize him for it.  Anyway, Stone ripped one off the pipe on the PP after he got in behind the Pens D, but the Pens managed to kill off the most important one of the game.

About 2 minutes after the kill, Rust broke through the entire Sens team before getting the shit hacked out of him by Stone and Wideman.  He got a half-assed shot off, but the refs awarded him the penalty shot anyway.  Dana Heinze was seen running to the locker room to find him some hands.  7-5

Condon would replace Anderson after that, and with a little under 3 to play, he’d be pulled for the extra attacker.  Rust would complete his hatty with the gimme-goal.  8-5. Deuces.

RANDOM NOTES

  • Can’t really say MAF was terrible and earned getting yanked.  Can’t really say the Penguins were bad enough in front of him to warrant him getting yanked either.  Pulling him seemed to get the Pens going though.  Matt Murray is just flat out better.
  • Bryan Rust is the best #17 the Penguins have had since Petr Sykora.  He’ll probably never score an NHL hat trick again, but good on him to collect at least one and get it quicker than Syky did.
  • The PK is a bigger nightmare than spiders raining down from the sky right now.  This game probably ends up a blowout if they don’t bend over and take it.
  • It’s just not fair for Crosby, Malkin, and Kessel to be on the same team.  If this were the NFL, GMJR would “randomly” be tested for PEDs.
  • Speaking of PEDs, honorary star of the night goes to Bryan Cranston for crushing Labatt tallboys at the game.

Pens hit the road and travel to Florida Thursday night to take on the Panthers before heading to Tampa Saturday night.  Put the kitties back in the storm drain.  Go Pens.

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